Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Stuff I think of when I'm partially sleeping

Last night in bed (alone, because the Man is away) I invented this super hero. I derived the name from the song RAGG MOPP, which is in our show (We open tonight! Quick, go buy 100 tickets right now!). I simply put "e"s at the end of both words rather than the superfluous "p" and it becomes "RAGE MOPE"*. RAGE MOPE will be powered by her enormous well of rage and will fight back against the unjust things that make it so we can't sleep.

Some of these things include:

-Cats who make noises and fight with each other over nothing
-The noise your old heater** makes
-Cats who step on your throat and/or nipples
-The dishwasher
-A cat tail whipping you in the face and getting cat hair stuck in your chapstick
-Neighbors coming home late drunk
-Fucking cats doing whatever the hell fucking cats do

Some of the methods that RAGE MOPE would employ to exact revenge*** 

-Punching the mattress to try to frighten cats or burglars or whatever
-Ignoring the heater because at  least when the heater is making noise it is heating her
-Mumbling and shaking a squirt bottle threateningly
-Smiling at the thought of how clean the dishes will be tomorrow morning when she wakes up
-Getting up and running into the living room naked with only one eye open and stomping around to make the cats think she is an angry hungry nudist cyclops with a taste for kitty brains

So yeah. I'm expecting an animated show, some plastic toys, and a utility belt thingy.


*I briefly considered a superhero called RAGE MOPP who was a anthropomorphic mop who fought against the powers of dirt and for clean floors, but that didn't really go anywhere...
**This is just an example. We have not yet turned on the heat.
***I mean justice

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