Manners

I frequently think about what it means to be polite. Am I being polite? Do I show people the respect that PEOPLE IN GENERAL deserve? Is there stuff I don't even know about having manners?

Perhaps it's because Mighty Girl recently posted about manners. But in general, I have to say that the topic is on my mind a lot.

When I pass people in the hallway, I may not engage them in conversation, but I do smile and look them in the eyes. I think it's important to acknowledge other people. I don't necessarily do this on the streets at night when I'm walking home, because I feel this can encourage strangers to talk to me (which, as a woman alone, could mean trouble). In other, more familiar settings, I prefer to be professional and friendly. Not everyone sees it my way.

I try not to have long conversations on my phone when I'm physically with another person. In fact, I try not to use my phone at all, and if if have to, it's only long enough to get the information I need. Because if I'm with you and you're on the phone chatting with someone else? I assure you I'm not enjoying myself.

I work hard to be on time. To confirm. To call ahead. I want other people to feel like I am respectful.
One time when I was twelve I told my mother to shut up while we were arguing. I was lucky to make it out alive - and rightly so. My parents didn't stress good manners so much as they modeled good manners and expected compliance. I'm happy that they did because I rarely find myself clueless* in social situations.

I don't think I'm perfect or close to perfect. I don't expect others to be either. But I do want people to TRY to cultivate good manners.

Try to make people comfortable and feel good about themselves. Try not to point out the flaws that they can't do anything about. Try not to be petty. Try not to remind them that you see all the same flaws they see.

That's what I'm trying.

Thanks for hanging in there for my PSA.


*Awkward? Oh yeah. Clueless? Not really.