My first kiss that was never actually a kiss

I was in seventh grade, so I was twelve. He was thirteen (a teenager!). His name was Richie and he wore glasses and he was best friends with my best friend’s boyfriend. I’m not sure what month it was exactly, but it was warm enough to swim in my friend’s boyfriend’s pool. We’d planned to all go swimming together on Saturday. L, my best friend at the time, and I planned that I would kiss Richie (or rather let him kiss me) in the pool. I was excited. And terrified. And I wasn’t 100% sure what I should be doing with my tongue.

I stressed about that kiss for DAYS before it happened. How would he bring it up? And if he didn’t bring it up, would I bring it up? Probably not. I’d just wait to see what happened. Waiting (without planning/worrying) has never been something I’ve been good at…

Saturday arrived, and with it, beautiful, hot sticky New Jersey weather. I met up with L and we headed to meet our boys at her boyfriend’s house. We got there, and immediately hopped into the pool. The two boys were exchanging knowing glances, and I could tell that something was up. As it turns out, they had also been discussing my first kiss. Their plan was this: Richie and I would head to one “side” of the 14ft wide round pool, and leave the other two at the far “end”. They would look over the far end of the pool away from us in a “Oh my goodness! What’s that over there?!” sort of way while we would smooch.

Well.

How it actually happened was that my friend L and her boyfriend performed their part of the scene, and Richie and I locked eyes. He put one hand on my hip and started to lean in and…

I panicked. So much.

I leaned back, clapped my hand over his mouth and said: “NO WAY!” and dunked myself in the water and swam to the other side of the pool.

The rest of the afternoon was a little…awkward.

We did eventually kiss, but not that day. It was ok. We didn’t last long. I distinctly remember saying “I feel caged by this relationship!”. I was twelve and already pretty dramatic. Anyway, I don’t know what happened to Richie, but I hope he’s a happy guy.

Now, I kiss without freaking out, and everyone involved seems to enjoy it.