Friday, December 4, 2009

I. Don't. Learn.

Thing twelve-million-and-two that I said to my boyfriend while drunk (seriously, you'd THINK I'd just lay off the booze already, but NO!*):

"When we have babies you shouldn't be in the delivery room to see my mangled girl-parts. J will be there. You can wait outside. That way you'll want to have sex with me again one day.**"

Seriously, a trained Monkey has more tact.

*I did have a reason for drinking, as the cast list for Dracula was posted yesterday***, and M is away for the WHOLE weekend, and Proseco is quite delicious.

**Dear people with babies whose husbands saw their mangled girl-parts during delivery: That's cool for you - it's just not for me. We also don't pee in front of each other and he is under the impression that I just don't sweat. That's how we roll...

***I'm in. One of the Brides of Dracula. I wanted a lead, but dude I have been a lead like two and a half times this year, with this group. No complaints. PLUS! I get to have fangs and hiss menacingly. Good enough for moi.

5 comments:

Sarah Berry said...

B calls it being a "waste up husband." He had the conversation with EVERY one of his friends who already was, or was about to be, a father. He also made the delivery nurses and doctor laugh out loud when they asked him if he wanted to cut the cord and he practically screamed "No Thank You!!"

The pee thing is hysterical to me though!

Sarah Berry said...

Ha! Oops! "Waist" not "Waste"

feather nester said...

No, I get it. The Husband was not scarred in the manner you're concerned about, but he definitely was scarred in a more general, protective kind of way. It's hard for men to see, even if there's no ewww-factor, there's still the watching of your wife being hurt in a way that's beyond their control factor.

The pee thing won't last. I'll bet you money.

And where are your friends to take your phone away from you, girl?!? ;)

Leslie said...

Waist-up Husband? I like it.

Oh, and FeatherNester, no, I say this stuff straight to his face...

I would gladly put money on the peeing thing. I am dedicated.

Wonderland said...

J and I have a similar "waist up" deal as Scarlet. In no way what-so-ever do I want that beautiful man of mine seeing my mangled bits! But I desperately need him in the room to hold my hand and calm my nerves. I don't even like getting an IV without him there, for christ sake!

CONGRATS on the hissing and wearing fangs! Sounds amazing!!!