Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Workplace restroom

I am a private person (she writes on her easy-to-access blog...). No really. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I am a very controlled person. I may give a lot of information about myself, but make no mistake, I am carefully doling out only the information I want you to have. So, it offends me greatly to be mostly-un-pantsed in the same vicinity as strangers. Is there no greater indignity? When did we as a (fairly) civilized society decide that it is OK to eliminate right next to strange people? Or worse, your boss? Or worse than that, the person in accounting you don't like?! For real, people, I hate this situation with a fiery passion that burns hotter than... than... than the really hot cheese on pizza that completely burns all of the taste buds right off of your tongue. Ugh.

So, here, from worst to first, are my preferences for work bathroom situations:
1. I am in one stall. Someone is in the other stall, trying to have a conversation with me. There is a line of other women. Aaaaahhhhhhhh! I would run away but I can't!

2. I come in to use the bathroom, someone is in the other stall - but I don't see that person because she finishes while I'm still in the stall and she's even done washing her hands before I get out of the stall so we at least preserve our anonymity.

3. The multi-stalled bathroom is mine. No one enters while I'm in there. I even have time to check my teeth, hair, and how my butt looks. And maybe do some awesome Charlie's Angels-ish high-kicks. (If you know me, you will know how much I love doing this.)

4. The company bends to my will and installs a bathroom adjacent to my office. One stall only. Mine. No water or soap all over the counter. No extraneous hairs. :) A girl can dream.

OK. Please feel free to call me a total weirdo now. But I feel much better now that I've gotten this off my chest.


Scarlet Lily said...

No way - you're totally right! You know what I've always thought would *drastically* improve the situation? Stalls where the door and walls go all the way to the floor and ceiling. Then it's like you kind of ARE alone and none of this BS that you have to get an employee review from someone and hear them splash all in the same day - totally inhumane. Also, I'm trying to pretend that situation #1 has never actually happened to you b/c it sounds horrific!!

Wonderland said...

Oh Man, I HATE when people try to talk to you while you're in the stall. Mouths should spontaneously stop working the minute I close the stall door. Silencio!

die Frau said...

Scarlet, YES. YEEEEEEES. And soundproof everything.

I just love when people are on their cellphones in public bathrooms. I'd really love to have a conversation while hearing numerous toilets flushing in the background.