Tuesday, August 14, 2012

It's relative

As I was walking toward the T this morning on my way to work, I was thinking of how extremely irritated I get when someone says "safety deposit box". Because clearly it is a safe deposit box. It's safe. It's not safety. I especially hate it when people on tv say it. Aren't there editors who make sure that doesn't happen? I was watching an episode of Eureka and they were all saying "safety deposit box" and I wanted to punch my iPad.
So, as I was thinking this, I passed by one of the many churches on College Avenue and I saw at the top of their stairs a person curled into the fetal position, sleeping, under some thin blankets and a jacket.

And then I wanted to punch myself in the face. Because I was spending mental energy on safety deposit box instead of people without a place to sleep at night. And I am sorry about that.

It's not that my problems or concerns are invalid. Problems are relative. Just because I have a job and a place to live and my health does not mean that I don't have problems. Its just that people saying "safety deposit box" isn't an actual problem and I need to get over stuff like that. It's hard for me. That's just my personality.

I've heard lots of people say (on tv and in real life) that thinking of the enormity and infinite-ness of the universe makes them feel small - like a speck.
I have never ever felt that way. Though I understand in concept how the vastness of it all can make a person feel like they (and all of humanity) are just a blip, I can't actually see anyone really ever feeling that way about themselves. I've felt useless, I've felt alone, I've felt like after I die I will really be gone, but I have never felt small. I think this is because:
1. I am self-centered. And I suspect everyone else is too. I think of other people. I take their thoughts and feelings into account. But you know who I trust more than anyone else? Me. I am the center of things. Though, I understand completely why you would think you are the center of things. That's how this works, you see.
2. I don't have religion but I do truly believe everyone is connected to everyone and everything else. So, if I am a part of EVERYTHING, and EVERYTHING is a part of me, that is and will always be pretty huge.



The Perfect Space said...

I like this post very much. It's all about perspective, and it's so *easy* to lose it. <3

Jason Merrill said...

Then where am I supposed to keep my extra safety?

Sarah Berry said...

This is going to sound so backwards, but I envy this position right now...

This year my friend (whose kids are the exact ages as mine) lost her 32 year old husband to melanoma about 10 months after he was diagnosed.

And ever since his diagnosis and subsequent passing, I can NOT get out of the too-much-perspective space. I can't feel "light" about anything b/c it all feels so HEAVY and imminent.

So, yes, you are completely nutso for spending even 3 seconds on "safety deposit box" (that's EXACTLY how I have always said it), but don't be too hard on yourself, it means that you're life is happy enough to allow your mind the space to wander.

Wonderland2 said...

I've never felt that the mountains make me feel small - they make me feel infinitely huge and connected to EVERYTHING and open. So, yes. I agree. I also realize daily that I have first world problems and I am constantly thankful for them :)