Now that I've written this post and given it some time, I'm giving it the alternate title: WAAAAAH.
Last night's dress rehearsal was pretty damn good. There were some glitches and delays and whatever, but that's the whole reason you have dress rehearsals. I'm confident our show will be wonderful.
Yet. This morning I was still crying super hot tears of exhaustion and anger.
I don't want to only ever write about the same things (but here I go!). I got home last night at a little after midnight. I fed the cats. I went to bed. I lay there, wired and tired. The cats hopped around downstairs. They fought. They cried. They chased each other up and down the stairs as I willed them to SHUT THE FUCK UP so I could sleep. I counted to 100. I tried to relax my face because all the rigidity was giving me a headache. I was so mad. At cats. It was futile. I eventually fell asleep a little before 2am. Then at 5am, it started again. I got up with the spray bottle and the noisy cat was just sitting at the bottom of the stairs, screaming with dissatisfaction.
I got into bed and the Man commented on the noise. Then I started crying**. Not crying really, because my body wasn't really into it, but my stingy, dry eyes were leaking hot tears*** and didn't stop until I took a shower.
I just don't know what to do about this because if I force them outside their loudness becomes EVERYONE's problem and that's how kitties get poisoned...
But I need to sleep. And at night, because I suck at naps.
Once the show is over and my schedule is more normal I'm sure things will improve. It's just hard to see that now when I'm so exhausted I can't think straight.
So, in a way, things are really really good. But in another way, not.
**I wasn't crying because the Man made a comment - those things were just sequential. He was being cool, I was just completely over the edge.
***Why are desperate, rage-y tears SO hot?