Yoga, the two times that I've done it since I sprained my ankle six weeks ago, has been hard. For two reasons.
Reason the first:
It hurts my ankle to do lots of the things that I used to do with relative ease. I cannot do a proper triangle pose with my right foot in front. I cannot do many standing balances while my right foot is the grounded foot. I can't even really do child's pose because it puts too much pressure on my extended right foot.
Reason the second:
It hurts my pride so much to not be able to do what I was doing before. I like forward motion and progress. I do NOT like having to re-learn what I already learned and start from square one when I was nicely moving along in my yoga practice. It feels like failing hard. In front of people. It feels stupid.
Something that I have learned from yoga, though, is that everything - feelings of pain or accomplishment - is temporary. I will not be this gimpy forever. I will get back into it and do better. I can do eight wheel poses in a row in 90 degree heat! I can hang out in fore-arm plank for two minutes (I know because I did it once because the Man basically dared me)! I can do anything for a measly ten breaths.
There's some unrest because we need to move to the new place in less than three weeks and we don't have floors to put things on, or a working sink or shower in the new place, and oh yeah we haven't packed anything. But. We can do this.
This is kind of a point of transition in my job and I don't know what's coming next at any given moment, but I can do this. I'm 34 and not married and I have no idea what my future or family or whatever will look like, but hey! I can take it. Things are changing and moving always. As long as I don't get too stuck on any one detail, I'll let the things pull me along. And if I'm very lucky, maybe I'll figure out how to steer...?
P.S. It occurred to me as I was walking home from rehearsal last night that I frequently think that the nicest, funniest, most beautiful, least judgmental people live/work/play where I live. If you know different - don't tell me. I like believing it.