Privilege

Privilege is a word I spell wrong all the time.


I'm not sure why I thought that after As You Like It ended I would have loads of free time. I kind of pictured myself wandering from room to room of the apartment, taking a nap, strumming the ukulele, lounging on the couch with Martha Stewart Living, reading more than the first paragraph of The Paris Wife, cooking and freezing* all kinds of foods...

But in reality I've been busy almost every night. And the times I'm not busy I have planned to have a date with the Man so I don't want to lounge about by myself I want to cuddle and watch movies and eat sushi. He is similarly busy, as he is frequently out of town, or getting up super early to go to the gym. And now that softball is over there's kick ball, and he meets with people to talk about work. It's just never ending. Which is good, right? Our business and independence is something we've both said we like about the other person.

But sometimes I do kind of want to stay at home and do nothing.

The last week I've eaten out about five or six times; I feel like that's a lot. And it's not atypical. I spend a lot of money on entertainment of the let's-just-meet-and-have-a-drink variety. Usually, drinks turn into drinks-and-food-and-ice-cream-and-maybe-one-more-drinnk-for-the-road. I feel like I do this more that people should do it. Is that stupid? Is there something to be said for making "going out" a special occasion thing? I mean it's not like I'm eating lobster and steak five times a week. The other night while out with theatre peeps I had one beer and the appetizers we had simply consisted of bread and butter, olives, and french fries. That's not extravagant. Plus! Invaluable social interaction! I feel like this is a pretty good trade off compared to my previous life where I never went out and I was a bit of a paranoid spinster. I'm not responsible to anyone but myself (and the Man, somewhat), and the cats...

Perhaps I just need to be more aware of what I'm doing and not take for granted that I live in a place and have a job that allows me to be with all kinds of interesting people (and they want to be with me too, sometimes!) and eat delicious foods and walk home and run into friends and drink the occasional $4 latté. Maybe all of these times can be special occasions if I make sure I'm enjoying them to the fullest. And maybe I can just get a regular dark roast sometimes and save myself $2...




*I've been buying my lunches a lot lately because I am too busy/lazy/forgetful to make a lunch. This must stop, as it's pointless and I cook perfectly lovely food that I could easily eat at work.