This being the Year of Adventure, I feel I must let you know that I will have to ride a mechanical bull* before the year is out. Please make this happen.
You have fifteen weeks.
*No special reason other than I think I'd be good at it and I want to dominate machines. Tolkien would be so proud**.
**Wouldn't he? Because he was a Luddite and he's gotta be psyched when someone puts a machine to shame and makes it go crying home to it's cold metal mama? Even if he doesn't understand why we even have mechanical bulls in bars.