I went to 90 minutes of Power Yoga with A and J yesterday. I should tell you that 90 minutes of constantly flowing yoga, at 95 degrees, is a challenge. I think it would be a challenge to anyone, with any physique. This is why I do not feel bad about being rather sore today - especially in my arms. Upper body strength is something I'm trying, slowly, to cultivate.
The instructor said something that resonated with me while we were in triangle pose for about 5 breaths. He said:
Try not to think about being at peace only once this is over, otherwise you'll never be at peace because there's always another thing - and only when that ends will you be at peace, but then there's another thing. Try to just get out of your own way and be at peace now.
Yes. I have a very hard time enjoying right now because I'm always thinking about how much better things will be after this thing or that thing is over. I have been trying to work on this.
While lying on J's bed this weekend (A was printing out her boarding pass and J was in the shower and I was resting from the grueling time we spent giggling on the beach) I noticed something J had on her wall. It read:
You might as well try to enjoy right now because it's always right now
Or something very much like that. So, twice in one weekend I got the same advice. Maybe I should try to get out of my own way, and just be at peace with what's going on NOW. Maybe I can try to just enjoy NOW.
I'm getting better at this, and part of that has come from breathing into what's happening in yoga, in life. I still get needlessly worried about small details, but I'm learning to calm down and weigh the actual importance of those details. Sometimes I can just take in information without fretting over it, other times I need to bring myself back to a place of just accepting that things are the way they are. I know I should probably stick to just trying to change the things I can change.
It's hard. But I'm trying every day.