Friday, April 8, 2011


Here's a brief and incomplete list of ways I would prefer not to die, especially if I were to be found by strangers:

1. Auto-erotic asphyxiation (obvious, I know)
2. On the toilet after a brain aneurysm brought on by some sort of straining episode (it hurts just to type that)
3. Meth binge (I picture myself pantsless, mid frantic cleaning spree* with ratty hair and grime under my nails...cringe)
4. Anything that causes embarrassing bloating - yuk
5. At the bottom of the stairs, mangled (I've fallen down - and up - many different staircases in my life, and this is a persistent fear. I picture people looking at my impossibly situated body, with my legs wrapped backwards around my neck or something, and judging me, thinking I'm clumsy)
I don't want death to make me look bad or impugn* my character, in other words.

So... um... Happy weekend!

*Two words I love: spree, impugn