Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Some things that never change

There are some things about me that at 33, will probably never change. Here are two of those things.

1. I'm traveling today. I'll board the plane at about 1pm. But i'm nervous. I'm not nervous about getting through security, or the plane falling out of the sky, or delays. I'm nervous about making it to the airport, about having my ID with me. I'm worried that even though I checked in online yesterday, there may not be any record of me on that flight. I'm worried that I'm not competant enough to secure a cab that will drive me to the airport, even though I have the cab company phone number in my phone and I know how to speak English enough to ask for a ride. I'm concerned that even though every single cab ride I've taken to the airport has been in the area of $40, that the $60 in cash I have will not be enough.

I am ridiculous.

The odds are actual pretty good that I'll make it.

2. The director for The Vagina Monologues just sent out our lines for the show. It's not really a traditional script and we're all playing different parts. When I saw that I have a decent amount of lines I was immediately thrilled, then freaked out. How will I memorize all of those lines? How will I keep them in my head? I have just over a month to figure it out.

The thing is, this is what I worry every time I get lines. I try to remember how I memorized lines from the last show and I draw a blank. Despite knowing that my method is as simple as spoken repetition and writing the lines down over and over, I am certain that I'll screw it up. I'll drop lines, skip some, fudge some, disappoint everyone. Gah! Terrifying!

Again, if history is a good indicator, I'll do fine. I get up on stage, and I'm not terrified; I'm excited. Happy.

Time to shower and get ready to go. Happy travels.


Just Another Idealist said...

Hey, we're falling off this high up place! WHY IS NO ONE ELSE NOTICING?!?!

Leslie said...

Sometimes dreams are just like that.The mind can be a nut-so thing :)