Friday, September 24, 2010

End of the week pile of stuff

1. This disgusting thing was on my wall this morning. Now, I am not afraid of bugs because I am approximately a jillion times bigger than most of them. But. I do kind of hate them. And the more legs they have, the MORE I hate them, so this little dude is shit outta luck. I believe this is known as a house millipede and that he actually eats other bugs? I don't much care. Because this guy's going down. Downtown. To Chinatown, if you know what I mean...


2. For some ridiculous reason this morning while I was brushing my teeth I was thinking about the AP exams I took in high school. I was fortunate enough to go to a school with the resources to have great AP-level classes and the opportunity to take the exams there at the school. I took four of them. Here's what I took, the grade I received (on a scale from 0-5) and why:

Biology AP - 5 I think I got a five because I was extremely excited about Biology and also most of the smarty-pantses I knew who took it got 5s that year.

English AP - 4 I loved my English class, though I did not love my teacher. We started out the year with a great relationship, but then I wrote something stupid in a paper (something like: "Shakespeare, arguably the most influential writer of all time...") and he thought that the phrasing was trite and that I was insincere. Regardless, he prepared me well for the test and the final portion was to analyze a John Donne poem, and I really liked John Donne.

French AP - 3 Here's what happened on this one: about a third of the test hinged on this impromptu story you told based on this series of cartoon panels about a family on vacation. I think I ripped off a Simpson's plot, but whatever. There were two full pages of cartoon-y scenes and when the five minutes was over and I turned the page to start the next section of the test I saw that there were two more pages of scenes. SHIT. I am dumb! Otherwise I'm fairly certain I would have gotten a 4...

US History AP - 2 Yeah. I really sucked at history class.


3. I really, really think that if people spent (like 10%) less energy on everything else, and more energy on being nice and promoting others rather than trying to leave everyone else behind in the dust, every single person on the planet would be healthier and happier.


4. Last night at 11:00 I lay in bed falling asleep while the Man was on his way back from being in Boston. I heard a serious ruckus from outside (which doesn't usually happen on my street, which is fairly out of the way). For awhile, the only thing I could make out was a very drunk guy aggressively demanding "fight me!" and another guy saying something in return. After a minute or so I got nervous that someone was trying to bait the Man into fighting and I got up to look outside. Nope, it was just two guys who were saying the same thing over and over like it was a script. The more I listened the more it reminded me of a call-and-response from church. Except it went like this:

Drunk Guy 1: Fight me. Fight me!
Drunk Guy 2: I will not fight you!
DG 1: Fight me! Fight me!
DG 2: I will not fight you!
DG 1: Did you call me a bitch?!
DG 2: Yes I did call you a bitch!
DG 1: Did you call me a bitch?!
DG 2: Yes I did call you a bitch!

This went on the entire length of my street. It was odd.


5. I made out a grocery list this morning so that after work I can head to Whole Foods and get what I need for next week. I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but the second I start to write a grocery list, I not only forget all of the things I've been saying (to myself) that I needed, but I also forget what I like, and what meals I typically make. I get completely stumped after: "eggs, milk, bread". I'll stand there and think
Cheese? Probably. Olives? Sure. Kiwis? Nah. Avocado? What can I do with these foods? What goes into chili again? Beans? Mmm-kay... What did I eat last week???

Luckily, I usually do ok once I actually get into a store. And I do remember to stick the pointy end of the fork into the food-stuff and cram it into my pie-hole. So I've got that going for me.


6. Happy Friday, peeps.

2 comments:

The Perfect Space said...

But Shakespeare IS arguably one of the most influential writers of all time (at least in the English language). Why is that insincere?

Leslie said...

I KNOW!
I think he thought I was just filling space.
He did actually call me "insincere".