I don’t feel like I have a lot to say today, so this may be disjointed. I can tell you that I am wearing fun underwear (funderwear!). And that my bra matches my panties (which I know some of you do ALL THE TIME, at least you did in college, Feather Nester). I’m not sure why, but once I slap some animal print and lace on my girly parts I feel about a thousand times more put together.
Today I need to play hooky from work for awhile while I go into Boston to the Dutch Consulate (again). It seems they lost my fingerprints and can't process my passport without them. D'oh. This would be much nicer if it wasn’t only supposed to be in the 40s today. And if it didn’t just start pouring...
Last night I got some good news: our good friend Dr. Monkey will be visiting for a several days in June. YAY! I’m very excited about this, as we always have a movie-good-food-and-booze filled time. Plus! last time he was here it was December and SO COLD. Now, there will be sunshine and t-shirts!
There is something that I’ve been thinking about recently. Are you ready? Ok, here it is: I don’t go out a lot – as compared to my other friends in the area. Usually, I am totally cool with this. I like going out, but I love staying home to have dinner and a movie with my Man and then not being a zombie the next day for work. HOWEVER. This means that I miss out on stuff (duh.) Most of the time this is fine, but sometimes I get the feeling that people are growing together (because of shared experiences) and I’m going off in a different direction. Objectively, this doesn’t bother me because my friends are still my friends, but sometimes when everyone is talking about what they did at an after party, I feel like I should have just dealt with being a zombie, as miserable as that makes me. But, that’s really not me. So sometimes it just makes me want to do less because I feel like I’m not as much a part of the group (even though people are always welcoming and certainly never do anything to make me feel unwanted). I feel like after parties and the day after on Facebook are forging better relationships than I can.
It’s just about the side effects of choices, really. I feel like I’m in the transition between single-chick and serious-relationship-that-could-be-moving-somewhere. It’s tough to comfortably walk that line and enjoy what both sides have to offer. At least, it’s tough for me. Balance that with trying to be good at my job, keep things clean and neat, and working out enough not to go blobby, and there’s not a ton of time left over for reading, or doing other things by myself that I enjoy (at least without feeling a bit guilty about not doing things that I SHOULD be doing).
You know?
2 comments:
Dude, I SO know. I couldn't even make it to after-parties when I was in college, at the height of the stay-out-late/all night time of my life.
Relationships will gently but inevitably change. I know you know that. And it's hard when they change...away from you. But you have dear, good friendships that go way, way beyond after parties, so encourage those and make your choice to go to the occasional late-night fest. Will you really be your best "you" if you're a zombie, forcing yourself to be there all the time? This is why I say DO go out sometimes. I have to do the same--or I'll stay an hour longer than I'd wanted to and I usually have a good time.
On the other hand, want a laugh? I once went with T to a get-together at his friend's house and got so tired that I went and slept in the guy's guest bedroom for like two hours until Ted woke me up to take me home.
Be comfortable with you and know that all friendships wax and wane and have their time--some last longer than others. You're awesome just as you are (not to get all Bridget Jones on you, but it's TRUE.)
I do know how you feel, I live 1500 miles away for christ sake! I have things to write here that may be more email appropriate. But, I will say: There is plenty of love. Your friends love you like crazy even if you don't go many after parties. I promise!! But I do know how you feel...
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