Monday, March 9, 2009


Yesterday I went to yoga at 11 am. It was 55 degrees and I wore flip flops. Also, a strappy yoga top and flimsy hoodie. When I got out I went for a delicious, fruity, frozen smoothy. Um, I'm looking out the window RIGHT NOW and it is snowing. Actually, it's a "wintry mix" - it started as sleet which managed to keep me up for hours last night (that, in combination with our mouthy heater).
Now, I knew better than to put away my boots. I knew that it wasn't the end of cold weather. But COME ON, MAN! More snow? I've had enough. I am NOT snow blowing. Or shoveling. Forget it.

It's just so fucking bleak, you know? I don't have a job, there's no sun, neither of those things seems even to be on the horizon. What the hell is there to do about it? THERE ARE NO JOBS. Where do you look? When is it that you turn in your pride and feelings of self-worth and take any job you can get? How low do you go?
Well, I'm not there yet. I can't do it. I will not take ANY job. There don't seem to be ANY available jobs in my field that people want to hire me for, so I guess that's it. I just have to wait more. Every passing day sucks more than the last on that front.

Ugh. I'm quitting now because this is way depressing. I need to go learn some lines anyway. And maybe close the curtains so I don't see any snow. And maybe have a glass of something strong. Yes, I know it's before 10am, but if you can't do this stuff when you're unemployed, when can you do it?


die Frau said...

I decided that winter in our general area is like a bad boyfriend/girlfriend: It promises to change, even does for a while, and you get your hopes up that THIS time it will work, and goes right back to the way it was before.

I think you're great and I know you will get something. I won't tell you to "hang in there" because you just rock and you will come out on top of this. I know it.

feather nester said...

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I don't think there's anything I can say that's not pitifully trite, so I guess I won't try. Big hugs.

Wonderland said...

Die Frau's analogy rocks! And not having a J-O-B is sucky sucky suck. Love you.

Just Another Idealist said...

On the upside, at least you didn't have to get up in the dark & then commute in this CRAP. I'm just saying ;-)