Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Busy being sleepless

Ok, this bruise/scrape combo may not look like much, but it is icky. After I got the UHaul to my place on Sunday and got out onto the street, I heard a loud cat-fight noise and ran towards it, not realizing that I would run directly into the tow hitch in back. Ouch. Moving: 1, Leslie: 0.
Did I mention that I am so over moving? This is unfortunate since I'm only about 70% finished getting stuff to the Man's house...

Last night I auditioned for a local show. I prepared a monologue, repeated it to myself about 500 times, and I still had to stop in the middle and start over while reciting it to the director because well, I... just forgot it. That was pretty awesome(sarcasm). Luckily, Most people in the group know each other pretty well and are familiar with each other's abilities. But. Still.

At about 1am the younger cat woke me up because he desperately wanted to snuggle with my face. I lay awake thinking about obligations and schedules and how much time my extra-curricular activities take and if I put myself in a position to do too many things and if I even should/can do the things I want to do and if they take too much time away from relationships. I did not come to any good conclusions, really because I was so tired and mad that I was awake and I was trying to prevent cat-hair blockages to my air-intake-holes. I also was trying to count each breath as a falling-asleep trick I'd heard about. My inner monologue went something like this:

100... 99... 98... 97... How will I ever get to cook dinners if I'm busy four nights a week? CONCENTRATE. 97... 96... 95... I'm so damn tired and how can my eyes hurt even if they're closed... DAMN 94... 93... 92... 91... 90 I'm crazy if I think I can move and do all the summer stuff I want to do and be involved in a show and do more yoga and SHUT UP AND SLEEP!

So you see what I was working with. The ONLY good thought that came of any of this was: When I look back on my life I probably will not be sad that I threw myself into my passions and did my best. I will not be unhappy that I tried to do it all. Even if I can't actually do it all, I will have done A LOT.

When the Man and I woke up this morning, I told him about being up for almost two hours and trying to calm my monkey mind. He seemed simultaneously disappointed that I might be so busy with stuff but also kind of relieved because he's taking the PMP test (project management certification) in September and needs to do a ton more studying. That made me feel a bit better. The Man is also ALWAYS doing things and he hasn't fallen over yet of exhaustion. So maybe we can both live that life. Being busy, but together.


die Frau said...

We do that--we try to be simultaneously busy so neither neglects the other. It's worked out pretty well, and we are very careful about respecting our time together and each other's time. You'll figure it out--the talking is good!

I've always found in moving that 80% of your stuff takes 20% of your time and vice versa. It's moving that last 20% of crap that drives a person CRAZY. But think! Think of where you're moving and why! Yay!

Anonymous said...

You were fine. Far from the only person who did that and lovely, talented and fun as always.

I think questions about balancing home and other stuff are good ones to ask--and keep asking--but it's about balance, rather than giving up one for the other.

Wonderland said...

That sounds exactly like my 4 am musings!

kirida said...

I am not a good mover. I don't have a system. You are always so put together, bruises and all. I hope it finishes smoothly without injury!