Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Preparation

I am spending a lot of time mentally preparing for moving in with the Man in a few months*. I'm selling off the furniture I have that I either hate or don't want. I'm thinking of which services to cancel and what I can do to make the transition easy for both of us. I'm thinking of how I will integrate into his apartment with the least amount of disruption. I'm thinking of cleaning his kitchen and bathroom so that I'll feel safe eating and being naked in various parts of his home without getting the plague.

How is he preparing? I don't know exactly, but my guess is that he will cross that bridge when he comes to it. The Man has never lived with a partner. He's had roommates before, but I think we know that's not the same thing. If you're mad at a roommate at the end of the day, you can lock yourself in your room and play loud music and pretend they don't exist. You don't have to spoon with them. Not that we're ever mad at each other, but you never know...

I have lived with partners. And I liked living with them. Now, the relationships didn't work out (obviously) but MOST relationships don't work out. Until one does. That's kind of what I'm looking for - the one that works. And, without pretending I know the future, I'm guessing that the Man is the one that will work. I wouldn't be moving ahead if I didn't.

Deciding to live together doesn't mean that you know you'll be great at living together. It means you're willing to give it a shot and see if it works. That's where we are. We're willing to see if this next step is a good one. If it is, I hope we'll move on to the next step. That's how I like to think about relationships. I've usually got the next step in mind. But I have learned to try to enjoy the step I'm in because if I'm just waiting to get to the good part, I'll always be waiting. I need to make the good part be the part I'm in.

I'm excited. And a little bit nervous. But I think that's probably just right.


*You might think it's too soon to be mentally preparing. I'm not moving in until July 1st. But, please remember that I am the one who wanted to pack for my late-March trip to Aruba in mid-February**. I renewed my Dutch passport a year early***. I celebrate Christmas in September for crying out loud!****
**True
***True
****Ok, that one is a lie.

3 comments:

dpolicar said...

> Now, the relationships didn't work out (obviously) but MOST relationships don't work out.

Just because it ended, doesn't mean it didn't work out. All relationships end; some relationships also work out.

Leslie said...

Aaaah. Ok. You're right, and that's a fair point. I' have had relationships end that DID work out.

lillibet said...

if I'm just waiting to get to the good part, I'll always be waiting. I need to make the good part be the part I'm in

These are very wise thoughts, well put. I'm going to quote you.