Awesome things my office-mate said while they were replacing my windshield at work, and more!

My officemate's window looks down on our parking lot...

"Looks like he just ripped through your inspection sticker."

"It appears that your car is on fire."

"Oh. Oh no. That doesn’t look good."

"CROOKED!"

Luckily, none of these things was true; he just likes to torture me. But I can be, you know, unbelievably wound-up about things. So when the guy was done with the car, we had this conversation:

Him: You can move your car back into your parking space, just don’t DRIVE it until after noon.
Les: But I will have to DRIVE* it to get it into my parking spot!
Him: Yeah, but that’s not far. Just don’t drive it anywhere until this afternoon.
Les: So, I’ll be doing some highway driving later… Um… the windshield isn’t going to fall back into my car and slice off my head or anything, right? Because I’ll have other people in the car and I’ll be RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR LIVES.
Him: ... ...Yeeeeeeeah. Just don’t drive it until this afternoon. Bye.

*I did DRIVE it back to the CLOSEST possible open space, and it was fine.

I should probably also mention that the only area big enough in the parking lot to do the whole windshield-swap was in the empty handicapped parking area. Because I am an asshole. I usurp valuable near-building handicapped parking spaces for my own nefarious (well, maybe not nefarious, but certainly selfish) auto-part needs. You may hate** me now.

**I'm sensitive. Please don't hate me too much.