Vignette

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and I went to the man's parents' house for dinner. I was to leave at 11:30 so that I could get there by 12:30. I started walking down the stairs, pie in hand, at 11:25, because I budget 5 minutes for walking down 3 flights of stairs and 20' to the car. When I got to the car I noticed that at least one hundred million birds had pooped all over it. ALL. OVER. IT.
Now, the windshield isn't a terrible place to get poop, because your car has the resources to wash it off on its own. The hood though? What would all my man's relatives think when they saw me driving a be-pooped car? Obviously they would think that I will make an awful life-mate. Because of this, I deposited the pie in the car, ran upstairs for some wet-wipes, and came back down to take care of the hood. About seven wipes later I was finished. I went over to the trash cans lined up against the house to toss said wipes and be on my merry way. But when I returned to the car? MORE POOP. Right in the same spots that I had just cleaned. OMFG fine! I got the wipes out again and repeated the process.

People, this happened three times. Finally I moved the car to the other side of the street so that I could get out of range of those shit-bombing fuckers. Damn. I left for the man's P's house about ten minutes late, but smiling, because I hate birds and I would be eating one shortly. VENGEANCE!!

Anyway! I got there without any problem, all of the people were really nice, and the food was delightful. There were no pie leftovers, so it had to have been decent. After dessert the man and I took the kids (seven in total) on a walk in the woods behind the house, and a good time was had by all.

Now, to put on the Lord of the Rings and do it all again :) YUM!