Thursday, February 26, 2009


I am the product of my parents. I see this so frequently that I fully expect to wake up one day with my dad's bald head and glasses (no, not really - I have superb vision...).

Whenever I raise my voice for NO GOOD REASON, I think of my mom. When I close a drawer, but it doesn't quite close all the way, so I slam it, and then it bounces open even more, then I slam it harder and jam my finger in the process spouting obscenities, I think of my dad. Sensitive response to criticism?-Mom. Sarcastic, cutting remark as self-defense?-Dad. Obsessive counting?-Mom. Preoccupation with money?-Dad. Oh, the list goes on.

Luckily, my parents are not just freaks, they're also practical, loving people. So, getting indignant on someone else's behalf?-Mom. Generousity?-Dad. Made breathless by the beauty of a landscape?-Mom. Make others laugh until milk comes out their noses?-Dad. Just wanting everyone to get along?-Mom. Ardent desire to feed friends?-Dad.

The reason that I thought of this is because I was having breakfast this morning with my man (we've been able to have a lot of breakfasts recently) and we were eating lots of bacon - of course - when I was reminded of my great-grandfather. My mom has told me so many hilarious stories about this colorful, quirky, possibly anti-social guy. The bacon thing reminded me that he apparently ate 4 eggs and 6 strips of bacon for breakfast every day of his adult life. He also smoked and drank like a champ and he lived to be about 96. When he asked the doctor at his last check up (well into his 90s) if smoking was bad for his health (as his family suggested), the doctor replied "Nope".

So, perhaps like my great-grandfather, bacon will give me super-long-lasting life and health. I'm taking vitamins, too. Just in case bacon doesn't do the job...


die Frau said...

When, oh when will they finally make a vitamin in bacon form??!?!?!!?!!

I think your parents are swell and would like you to give them my regards. Truly, tell them hi.

die Frau said...

Oh, and "Butter up that bacon, boy!"

Wonderland said...

I love when you get indignant on my behalf! Thank your mom for me.