Yum is my Mantra

Update

2012-01-26T17:08:00.000-05:00

My Dad had his surgery today and sounds much better. He still has to stay in the hospital for several days while they figure out this blood-clotting issue, but at least he's starting to heal.Now I feel much better about going on vacation. Yes! I did just make this about me!I'll be leaving the cats with the Man. The apartment should be an interesting place while I'm away...Have a wonderful few days in my absence, peeps!

Blrgh

2012-01-26T08:13:00.000-05:00

My Dad didn't have surgery yesterday. Instead, they've scheduled it for 9:30am today. It should take about 4 hours. When I talked to my Dad yesterday he sounded pretty grumpy and curt. I mentioned it to my Mom and brother when I talked to them and though it was not my intention they must have said something to him about it because he called me back to say that he was happy to talk to me but periodically people come into his room and jab him with needles and it's pretty annoying and can make a man grumpy and curt. OF COURSE IT DOES. So, yeah, I managed to make that about me.

Then last night at rehearsal I actually barked at a guy who stepped on my line. I didn't mean to, it just so happened that I used the same voice I use when I catch one of the cats up on the counter. It was way loud and a bit embarrassing.

And, later today I will leave for a vacation, la la la, while my Mom drives back and forth to and from the hospital to be with my sick Dad.

I had better do something awesome and generous and benevolent soon. I'll work on that.

Zombies and also my Dad

2012-01-25T08:33:00.001-05:00

I am having zombie anxiety dreams. Where I'm on a life boat with a small crew of people and zombies are closing in on us and we have no weapons with which to smash their heads in. You know the dream. Wait, you do not know the dream? Well then I'm sure you're better rested than I am. Congratulations.

My assumption is that the dreams are connected to my Dad's (possible) surgery today and not being able to fight off his zombies (bad gallbladder) because I don't have any weapons (medical knowledge and ability to perform surgery). To complicate matters he also has blood clots in his lungs now. He has to have some sort of filter attached to a blood vessel in his groin. And they're doing an MRI this morning to check for other stuff. So, any people (or zombies) who read this: could you please think good thoughts for him? Thanks.

There's always a reason to be scared

2012-01-24T09:49:00.001-05:00

So, it's my Dad. He's in the hospital because last week he'd been having some stomach pains and they were on and off but then on again. He went to the emergency room with my Mom and the doctors determined that he had gall stones and "slush" that meant that he had to have his gall bladder out. Unfortunately, he couldn't have it done right away because his liver isn't draining properly (because of the stones and slush) so he has to wait in the hospital until his liver gets better.
He's in decent spirits.

He and my mother both insist that my brother and I are to go on vacation anyway. I asked if they were sure. They said yes. I asked again, they said yes again.

I know it's not just me: when stuff goes wrong with your parents, it's scary. It's not that my Dad is a frail old man - on the contrary, he's pretty healthy, generally. I just prefer that nothing be wrong and my parents live on forever. That's reasonable, right?

Right?

Textversation with J regarding the peculiarities of morning hair

2012-01-23T08:11:00.003-05:00

About this picture:

Leslie: My hair knows you were making fun of it, and now the cowlick is back with a vengeance.
J: Iiiiiiiiii wasn't making fun of it, I was admiring it.
L: Ah, yes. In that case I think it's trying to woo you.
J: It's working.
L: Thanks for encouraging it.

In other news, the floors in the first apartment of the new place have been ably repaired:

They've also been sanded, sealed, buffed, and sealed again but I don't have any pictures of that yet. We're still trying to determine what to do with the floors in our apartment since they're in worse shape and there are two rooms that need to have all new flooring put in. We briefly considered an obscenely gorgeous wood - Brazilian teak - until we discovered that we would be cutting down a big chunk of the rain forest and likely the home of several dozen monkeys in the process. We decided against monkey trees and settled on local oak: less exciting but better for monkeys.

After moving a very modest percentage of my belongings to the new place, J and I went to Flatbread pizza in Davis for some salad, pizza, and these:

It's hot cider spiked with brandy and let me tell you what: You want one. If you don't, you should. Because DANG. It was warm and delicious.

I hope everyone has a warm and delicious day. I have to work, then go to the Apple store because I jammed the volume button on my iPad (in a cat-related incident, of course), then I'd like to finish packing for my upcoming trip to Malta. Weeeee!

PS. Right now in the back of my car is possibly the most beautiful toilet ever: the Kohler Santa Rosa. If the 14 year old me met the 34 year old me as I was discussing the beauty of this toilet, I wouldn't know me... (PPS. We paid less at Home Depot than the link would have you believe. Just sayin'.)

Think pink

2012-01-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

Any princesses out there?

Do you need a pink toilet and bath insert? Because I may know where you can those things for cheap.

Posty post with no theme because if there was a theme it would no doubt be house-related and I can't keep doing that to you

2012-01-18T08:18:00.001-05:00

The reason I'm not posting all the time is because all I want to tell you about is how our new vanity is cool! And how I can start moving stuff in this weekend! And how... oh what's the use? No one cares like I care...

But sometimes I get an idea that's not about the house, and I want to write about that. The other day, I was watching an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Charlie has to kill a bunch of rats and it reminded me of the time that I came down to our barn and my Dad was killing barn mice by bashing them with a metal shovel and I was maybe 10 or 12 years old and I watched him and I started crying and he made me leave - not because he didn't want me to witness the carnage, but because my crying was very irritating.

And then I think really? That's your idea for a post? Sad, buddy.

And then I just don't post.

So that's that. Maybe something will happen later that I can tell you about...

Windows and light and stuff

2012-01-16T09:15:00.000-05:00

This weekend saw a lot of painting. And some Home Depot. And even a quick trip to IKEA. The Man and I finished painting the walls in the dining and living rooms (the trim still needs to be touched up because painter's tape is a damn liar and just gives you a false sense of security and I don't think I'll ever use it again). Jerk.
We also painted the floors of the two rooms upstairs because they were in pretty bad shape but we have no plans to recover them at this time. Because you just have to stop somewhere, you know? You cannot do everything right away. At least we can't. Not without a lot of time off work and unlimited funds...

So, here's a thing:

What are we going to do about this hideous mess? This is the window treatment in the kitchen. Now, this is a great window. It's just above the sink and it lets in tons of light because there's no house on that side. I was inclined to just take that stuff down and not put up anything (I usually don't wash dishes naked) but then I actually stood there when the sun was shining and my eyeballs almost melted out of my head. So. Thoughts? Now I'm thinking some sort of extremely simple white/off white valance? I don't want anything even remotely fussy or attention-hog-ish to be there so I'm having some trouble. I'm having a similar issue with a group of windows in the dining room. I don't want to put mini-blinds there, and I feel like roman shades might be too bulky. Ok, enough about this crazy first world problem crap.

P.S. #1 I might have had a crying jag in the shower and then let it out on the Man afterwards because occasionally it hits me that I've been working pretty non-stop on this house and it's not MY house and he can walk away from this relationship at any time and then what? We're not married and why not because what's wrong with me? And other societal pressures to be married and young and active and happy and independent and thin and pretty and and and bleeeeaaaaaaahhhhhrrrrrggg.
Sometimes it just gets to you, you know? Then you just have to cry and complain and have a glass of wine and turn up the heat and sit on the couch. Then you can get back to life as usual. It's cool now.

P.S.#2 The Man's realtor came over to the house yesterday with a gift package from the former house owners. It was very thoughtful (chocolate and wine and a gift certificate to Dave's Fresh Pasta, where we go all the time). The realtor told the Man an amazing thing: She said that in addition to the Man's offer on the house, there was a developer who offered more money in cash. The family didn't want to take it because they didn't want someone buying it, gutting it and selling it as condos. They wanted someone to buy it who would make it a home and love it and love living there, like they did. We were both pretty touched by that. What a great family, and a lovely gesture.

Having the carpet ripped out from under you

2012-01-13T08:39:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the cruddy picture, but we don't have a lot of functional lighting in the new place. This is a mountain of rolled-up carpeting. It's about as high as an elephant's eye - and that's a lot of carpet!

The issue is that there's a fair amount of damage to the oak floors underneath. The first floor should be fine, but the second might be something we decide to re-do entirely. That will take time (a whole lot of precious time) and money, but if there's one things that's hard to do after you've moved in all of your stuff, it's the floor. So. We're waiting for the repair quote to come in before we decide.

In the meantime, the lack of carpets have given us a bit of a motivational push to keep going.

Also, I think I really freaked out the Man last night asking him a bunch of questions about WHEN THE HELL DOES HE THINK THERE WILL BE TIME TO MOVE EVERYTHING WE OWN?? Maybe if I hadn't spoken in all caps he wouldn't be freaked out but seriously we have a lot of stuff.
I'm sure it'll all get done.
I guess.

I know my posts have been short but I'm so tired and just about the only thing I've got going on right now if this house-and-move. Maybe I'll have thoughts about things later. I'll keep you posted. (Har har! POSTED!)

The floor man cometh

2012-01-12T08:21:00.002-05:00

I am so excited. When I go to the new house later there will be no more carpeting in sight. ZERO.

That is pretty awesome.

As a reminder, this is what it's like now:

Well, except that that pink wall is white and not pink anymore. But the teal carpet. It's soooooooo wrong.

Bye bye, Teal!

EDITED TO ADD:
After this fixing-up-the-house-and-moving thing is over I am going to wear some superfuckinghot new underwear, a dress and some Chanel. The Man will wear a jacket (tie optional, though he did get a nice one for Christmas) and we are going to go out and eat delicious food and drink expensive bubbly-type wine and forget about the sweater that I've been wearing every day (to paint and work and scrape and paint) that smells of paint thinner and sweat. That is what we will do. Come hell or high water, folks.

I guess there's a lot going on... baby steps

2012-01-11T09:08:00.002-05:00

You guys, last night I did not have rehearsal AND I didn't work on the house. I snuffled and mended a couple of sweaters and sneezed and tidied the dishes and coughed and went to bed. The Man was out with friends so I didn't feel terribly guilty. Tonight I will have to work on it before rehearsal though. Otherwise I'll start to feel like a slacker. Then Thursday and Friday we'll work on it. Hmm. Then also Saturday and Sunday. Soooo yeah. There will be working!

It's nuts how much there is to do. It's good that a lot of the things we're doing yield visible results (painting, taking down hideous things that previous owner put up) because it sustains me. When I have to sand or fill holes or tape I get pretty antsy.

In any case, then end is (kind of) in sight. At least I know I have to start moving things soon. The guy should be coming in the next few days to pull out the carpets and that will mean that I can at least start moving some boxes and things to the third floor since the work there will be done. It's all a little overwhelming but I'm happy that in a month from now the moving will be done and I'll be in a new place. This will be the sixth time I've moved since mid-2006 and I have to admit it's just not fun anymore. So I hope to be in this place for a while. A long while.
I'm also looking forward to doing social things again. You know, with people. With the house and everyone being busy and the gimpy ankle I haven't gotten out much. I will be going on vacation in two weeks to Malta with my brother and a childhood friend. It won't be warm (about 60 degrees), but it will be exotic and I will eat and take pictures and drink. And apparently spend lots of time in layovers in Heathrow.
But yay! Vacation! Then back to yoga and friends and being normal(ish)!

Harbinger

2012-01-09T08:43:00.002-05:00

The other day:

The Man: *cough cough* I don't feel great. I think I'm getting sick.
Leslie: Nonsense!

2 days later:

Leslie: I can't breathe and I want to die. I think I'm sick now.
The Man: I might have started that...
Leslie: :(

Soooooooo yeah. We worked hard all weekend on the house and now, in time for my actual job, I'm sick (and so is the Man). I can hear gurgling in my ear, which is new. And unpleasant.
I think that because the weather has been so peculiar and mild here it's been easy to assume I would never get sick. And yet... cough cough snarfle snarfle. Damnit all to hell.

COMPLETELY UNRELATED:
There is a thing that I have slowly been changing about myself and I wanted to tell you about it in case you have the same thing because I just made some sort of breakthrough.
Historically, I have always been afraid of meeting new people. Always. I find it terrifying. Why? Because those new people will hate me, that's why (duh!). Also, they'll probably be smarter and funnier and better looking and everyone will like them better.
I know, I am a sad little person.
BUT! Here's the thing that I only really noticed upon beginning rehearsals for Pride & Prejudice (there are lots of new people in the cast): It's possible that people want me to like them as much as I want them to like me. It's also possible that other people are intimidated by meeting new people. FURTHERMORE if someone new is being nice to me and it seems that they like me, they may, you know, actually like me. You would think that this knowledge would have been accessible to me at some other time in the last 34 years, but no. I just now learned that. Still, I'm happy I did because do you have any idea how freeing it is not to have to have all of your defenses up all the time? To just take people's friendliness for friendliness? Let me tell you: it is nice. I like it.

Here's hoping I don't sneeze in your face today.

Blergh

2012-01-06T08:14:00.001-05:00

I just don't really have a lot to say. I'm busy, both at work and at home(s). I'm pissed off because I can't get around the way I'd like to. I'm wondering where things are going. I'm excited and overwhelmed.

You'd think that this being the case I'd have something to say. But negatory, good buddy. I got zip. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings, but they're just hanging out, half-formed and gooey.

Maybe something cool will happen over the weekend. Maybe that something won't have to do with painting another room or packing a box or ironing a shirt or cleaning a litter box or being careful with my ankle.

We'll see. OH WE'LL SEE!*

*That's a threat.

EDITED TO ADD SOME ACTUAL CONTENT:

Conversations with co-workers

Co-worker: You seem to be getting around ok.

Leslie: Well I’d rather get around at a normal pace with some discomfort than avoid discomfort but walk around like someone...

Co-worker: like someone with a sprained ankle?

Silence

Leslie: … … … Yes.

and

Co-worker: You’re looking casual today.

Leslie: Your face is casual today.

Adjustments

2012-01-04T10:15:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a hard time sleeping. This is because of two things*.

Thing the first: It was really REALLY cold.
The Man keeps the thermostat on a program where it's cold during the day while we're at work, then warmer in the evening, then cold while we sleep, then warmer when we get up. I whole-heartedly agree with this program. While you're sleeping you're not supposed to notice that it's cold around you because you're under the blankets. And asleep. The only problem I have is that I wake up a lot and when I do I have the distinct impression that the bedroom has been transported to Hoth and I have no snowsuit and no Tauntaun to slice open and crawl inside for warmth. I've tried burrowing into the Man's skin but that never works because he just turns over and snores directly in my ears as a defense and let me tell you it's a very effective defense.

Thing the second: My ankle was killing me.
During the night I tend move and stretch and try to pry the cats off of my face. A move I bust out pretty much nightly is to uncurl myself from the fetal position and straighten out as much as possible. This generally includes pointing my toes and stretching my feet, which I did last night, and I had to muffle a cry at the pain. I keep forgetting that my ankle is hurt (idiot!) and that I can't keep doing the things I normally do. I have already noticed adjustments in the way I walk, either lifting or dropping my knee more than usual to accommodate the pain of putting weight on the ankle. I put a lot of my weight on railings on my way up or down the stairs. I hobble. It makes me feel like I look weak and I kind of hate it.
It's been making me think of the other things we adjust to. The non-sprained-ankle things. Pains from sitting at your desk all day. Uncomfortable shoes. People who don't treat you right but you just keep dealing with it because it's easier than saying anything. Comments from family that you could really do without... You know.

I don't want to ignore things I don't like because it's easier.
This has always been hard for me. Whether it's something someone else is doing, or something I could be doing better, it's something I want to change starting now. I'm not calling it a resolution, just a guide. You have my permission to call me out if I'm not adhering to the guide.

Thank you.

*I know you're thinking I'm going to mention the cats, but I'm not**. HA! Suck it!
**Except I just did. Damn it!

Morning me

2012-01-03T14:41:00.000-05:00

I promise that I did not doctor this at all, nor do I use any hair product to achieve this look. This is 100% pure, natural morning Leslie:

JEALOUS?*

*This does not look like it is spelled right AT ALL, but spell-check is mum on the subject so I'm going with it.

Quickie recap

2012-01-03T09:00:00.001-05:00

Since I'm back at work and I actually have to do work, here's a quick recap of the last several days:

Here's a house near Davis Square that has a rather impressive light display.

Here I am as Princess Leia sending a message to Obi-Wan via R2D2.

Here's my brother playing with a plastic bag as if it were a toy and not a dangerous death shroud. (And as if he were 5 instead of 37.)

Here I am - ready to sand sand sand the walls. I tried to make Darth Vader noises through the mask, but no dice.

Here's our new dining room. This baby was princess pink before. Here it is sporting its new color: Benjamin Moore Flint.

And this is from the Man. He generally doesn't use crass language, but we'd already had some champagne. I'm sure you understand.

Happy 2012, all. I'm still nursing my gimpy ankle and trying to figure out how we'll finish fixing the place up and moving in over the next three weeks. Good times...

Merry Whatevs to all

2011-12-25T08:52:00.000-05:00

I hope you all have an especially wonderful day. I will be on the couch babying my sprained ankle that I got from falling stupidly down the stupid stairs. It wouldn't be so awful, except in the next month or so I have the following things planned:

-paint an entire apartment
-move all of my belongings into that apartment
-attend many many rehearsals for the two shows I'm in
-take a vacation to Malta
-plus I was hoping to go skiing

Something has got to be done to amend that list. Hm...

In any case, now isn't the time to think about that. This is the time to think of family and togetherness and how much we're all planning to eat today.

Traveler

2011-12-22T07:00:00.000-05:00

I'm putting it out there: Please Universe, I would really appreciate good flight/airport karma today.
If all goes well I'll be seeing my family at 2pm. Should I tell them you said "hi"? I'll try to save you a glass of wine.

Progress, bitches!

2011-12-21T08:33:00.000-05:00

I know. It may not look like much, but I cannot tell you how much progress this is. The wallpaper is down, the paint is (mostly) up. PROGRESS, bitches!

Ambitious

2011-12-21T08:18:00.002-05:00

Upon being too tired to do it after working all day and then working at the new house until almost 11pm:

Leslie: We'll just do it a lot tomorrow.
the Man: Yeah. We'll do it like, 80 times tomorrow.

That's 80 times. I guess I'm going to have to go straight home after work today. I'm happy I went to yoga yesterday... (HEY NOW!)

Sometimes he'll surprise me with something pretty... made out of lead

2011-12-20T08:19:00.000-05:00

The Man: Hey! Look how much I love you. I made this for you.

Leslie: Whoa. A pipe heart made out of basement pipe. Did you bend it with your own hands and brute strength?
M: Yes!
L: You're so good to me.

Do ALL the things?

2011-12-19T10:52:00.000-05:00

This weekend was full and I am exhausted. I was not looking forward to getting up (it's about negative 40 degrees in the apartment at 6am) or coming to work (though I had my annual review this morning and all is well). I just wanted to sleep and sleep and I almost had the Man convinced that we should just chill out in our blanket fort all day. But, you know, responsibility...

So, to sum up: Friday after work I got to spend time with D! We used to live together and then she moved to Ottowa for what seemed like forever and now she's back but attending Tufts Dental School so we just NEVER EVER get to see her. It was nice to kick back in The Enormous Room with some (several) Moscow Mules, calamari and goat-cheese-stuffed-bacon-wrapped dates. Good times and catching up and stuff. After that I was going to work on the house but I said the hell with that and waited for the Man at home (who was returning from Maine) and we watched some It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and went to bed.
Saturday we got up at 7-something and grabbed some coffees and went to work. The Man's parents came over at around 10 and we all primed ALL the rooms. Go team! Saturday evening the Man and I went to a holiday party in Lowell. It was completely delightful to eat small foods and drink sangria. After we washed off all the primer and dust and dirt we cleaned up pretty nice.

Sunday was an equally early morning. The Man and I took to painting pretty much everything that exists in the world and made really good progress. We still have a bunch to do before the floors can be taken care of, but on a whim after a beer we decided to rip up some carpet and it looks like the floors aren't in bad shape at all (that teal carpet protected the floors like a champ!). We also tore out some cabinetry from the bathroom that only served to make me claustrophobic. Next thing to come down - blinding circus lights in the bathroom! Then the pink toilet! Weeeeee!

Sunday night, I rallied through my tiredness, put on some make-up, and went to The Slutcracker. It's a burlesque take on The Nutcracker ballet. I gotta tell you, when Clara was getting banged at the end of act one and that giant candy-cane striped penis was spewing snowflakes all over the stage, my cold, black, grinchy heart melted a little.
For another taste of what the night was like, here's one of the audience members:

Yes, that tall skinny dude is wearing a corset, cowboy hat, feather boa, garters and high heels. And he looked fabulous!

Now I must get back to work. Even though my hands are twisted into mangled hooks because I was holding a paintbrush all weekend... Typing is a challenge.

Proof we're working hard.

2011-12-15T08:14:00.004-05:00

We're working hard. Some of the work is relatively easy:

And, you know,

Some of it is less easy.

But we're definitely generating our share of trash. Bags and bags of it. Also, there are about 58** Starbucks cups sitting around up in here. We likes our caffeine and we likes it froofy*.

I know technically this only looks like proof that the Man is working hard. But I am the documentations-specialist on this project. I will be able to say: "Sure it looks great now, but let's go through the 450 slides of what the place looked like before we started. Please stay in your seats."

You know you can't wait for the slide show. Don't worry, there will be drinks.

*Ok, I likes it froofy. The Man, who in the past has been embarrassed to say the words "grande peppermint mocha" and used to have me order them, is now generally just drinking regular grande dark roasts. They're bold, just like him!

**Of the 58 cups, here's the approximate breakdown:
48% grande dark roasts for the Man
2% tall dark roast (because the barista clearly did not hear him say grande and he didn't want to be complainy)
20% grande lattés for me (because sometimes I am all business)
16% grande caramel lattés no whip for me (when I am only partially business)
8% grande pumpkin spice lattés with whip because sometimes I MUST treat myself to something with whip
6% grande gingerbread lattés without those weird candied ginger bits because that shit is gross and a very unpleasant surprise when you're not expecting your coffee to have chunks

The house is still awesome, it's my body that's broken

2011-12-14T08:19:00.002-05:00

I have spent, and plan to continue to spend every night at the new house. Doing stuff like this:

Yay, stripping and washing and scraping and taping! And then one day we will paint! It's good that we're doing the downstairs (tenants') apartment first, because then I will simply HAVE TO have energy when we get to our place because I fully intend to make it the best space ever. I will not be able to just slop on some paint and new switch-plates and call it a day.
I know, because of my vast knowledge of SCIENCE! that it is impossible to create/manufacture energy, so I'm wondering how I'll get it done. Maybe if I put some batteries in my pockets it will help? Do not doubt my SCIENCE! It could work!

Now, because of the house-working after the regular sit-at-my-desk-all-day-hunched-over-spreadsheets, I have developed a spot on my back that is in turn painful and then numb. I don't think that's a good sign. Sometimes it feels like I have a crazy itch under my skin but then I try to scratch and I can't feel the flesh where my fingers are scratching. Could this be a pinched nerve or something? It sounds like what I think a pinched nerve would feel like but I have no basis for comparison... In any case, it's here:

That's an artist's rendering of my back. I started out giving myself football-pads shoulders but then gave up on that because I have never worn football-pads. I do really have a giraffe neck, though. That part is totally to scale. Also, please notice: I'm naked. WOO WOO!

That's pretty much all I've got right now. Today is my work holiday party, so I'm hoping to drink a little and dull the pain (and numbness - can one dull numbness?) in my back. Then I'm going back to the house to tape and scrape some more. Dude, if I were the guy that bought this house and a total Betty was coming over for free to do all this work, I might take her out to a nice dinner and propose to her so that she doesn't run away with the house-painting circus.
I'm just sayin'. That would be what I would do...

Textversation with J, the day after she got her wisdom teeth out while she was watching Planet Earth and I was stripping wallpaper

2011-12-12T08:36:00.000-05:00

J: Otters are the cutest!
L: They're made of magic!
J: With a dash of rainbows
L: And a single old-fashioned doughnut on the horn of a unicorn
J: I love unicorns
L: They taste sooooo good.
J: Gross!
L: I have fed you unicorn meat on no fewer than seven occasions and you loved that shit.
J: I thought I could trust you. I thought we had something special.
L: We do! We are bound forever in a secret club of unicorn-eaters. So should I not tell you about the time I fed you muppet?
J: Oh I've had muppets dozens of times. They're very high in iron and vitamin A
L: Oh, snap! You turned that right around on me you silly little otter. mmmmm... otter.
J: I don't think I'd like otter. They're probably really fatty like duck.
L: Well then I'll eat your otter and you can eat my muppet.
J: I love our relationship. Of course, that could be the spell cast by the secret unicorn meat.
L: I'll never know. And frankly I don't care WHY, I just know that I love you like gravy loves muppet thigh.
J: Stop! It hurts to laugh!

I feel like this is where Sam the Eagle would come in and tell us we are all weirdos. And then we would roast* Sam the Eagle with carrots and potatoes. Like you do...

*No but seriously, I could never eat Sam the Eagle. That would be wrong. I don't eat blue foods...

GET OUT!

2011-12-12T08:26:00.003-05:00

The Man did, in fact, close on the house on Friday. I met him there after work. We were both giddy. He had to go to some office function for a while just after I got there, so he left me to strip wallpaper. By myself in a new-old house, In the dark. In the night.

I was having a great time listening to music and bopping around the first floor apartment. I scraped and sprayed vinegar-solution and pulled and stuffed gluey old buts of floral wallpaper into garbage bags. I was having a great time.

I noticed at one point that there was writing on the walls under the wallpaper. The kids of the house had written their names and the date in various places. I thought this was kind of cute. I also was surprised to see that the date on the walls was November, 1994. By the look of the wallpaper and the pattern, we'd estimated its installation as being a late 70s/early 80s thing. Anyway.

I'd uncovered several children's names and dates and I thought I was about to see another because I noticed some more writing, but when I uncovered it I saw this:

Yeeeeeeah. It says: "HELP PLEASE HELP". And chills went down my spine and my knees went a little wobbly*. I was immediately creeped out. I texted the Man that he should probably come home because there was some extremely creepy writing on the wall and I didn't want to die alone, horror-movie style. No response. Then I sent him the picture and he sent "On my way." Yes. You had better be on your way.

Well, as you may have already guessed, I did not die. We did not die. There were no more scary messages from beyond the grave. Luckily.

The rest of the weekend was very hard-work-y. We didn't leave the new house until 1am on Friday, then we were back by 8:30 on Saturday and (excluding one Home Depot run) we were there until 9pm. Sunday found the Man awake at 6am and at the house by 7. I slept a little longer and then went to Starbucks for coffee and breakfast sandwiches and I met him there at 8. We are crazy people. Crazy people who like to strip wallpaper and prime walls and replace outdated lighting. That's who we are. Tonight I'm going back to tape more in preparation for painting more. YAY!

In other news, Conan the elder cat is acting weird. The Man thinks it's for attention because we weren't around all weekend. He's walking carefully, but not favoring any particular leg. He's also not jumping up on the couch, but I've caught him up on the counter three times. I think he's just trying to confuse me. He's a furry mystery.

*There comes a time in the life of a person who's watched as many horror movies as I have when you think: "Aha! This is what I've been training for watching all of those horror movies!" So I gripped my razor-wallpaper-scrape-y thing and mapped out my escape route in case the ghosts/poltergeists/monsters came after me. Lucky for them, they didn't test me.

Antsies in my pantsies

2011-12-09T08:19:00.001-05:00

This afternoon, with any luck, will be the closing of the new house. The Man got up at 5:30 this morning because he simply could not sleep. I was sympathetic. But you know, it's not my money, and I really like sleep.

After work I'll head home to get into my dirty-working clothes, and to get some folding chairs and maybe some champagne, and then I'll go to our new place and start stripping wall paper. I know what you're thinking: "That girl knows how to party!" Well yes. Yes I do.

The Man is so excited that I think he fully intends for us to camp out at the new place tonight in sleeping bags. I'm in if he buys the pizza.

Please, keep your fingers crossed. Maybe your toes, too. Thanks!

Jesus is takin' it to the streets

2011-12-09T08:15:00.000-05:00

I was driving behind this on my way home last night

Yup. That's Jesus. In some sort of a small barn. Hooked to a truck. From Vermont. You can't see it in this picture, but he's pointing upwards with a quizzical look on his face, almost as if to say: "Do you think this roof will hold if typical New England weather returns?"

Who knows, man. Who knows...

Winner winner chicken dinner!

2011-12-08T15:49:00.000-05:00

Quoth the Department of Justice in an email to me:

Congratulations on your $1,000,000.00 lottery winning. we verified it 
and give you the permission to go ahead and claim it. Click on this 
secure path http://bit.ly/uvXbMI  for more information and instructions 
to file your claim. This message has been validated by the Federal 
Bureau of Investigation.

Naked tornado

2011-12-07T08:51:00.002-05:00

I've always thought it was a really cheesy bit - the thing in sitcoms and movies where they are making fun of a character's age, and they have him do something mundane* like bend over to pick something up off a table and then he shrieks in pain:
OH! My back, I threw out my back! Someone help me to a chair and get me some Ensure!!

Right? Lame! And fake! But maybe not so much? Because, yeah, yesterday morning as I was getting out of the shower I leaned over to get my towel as I have done thousands of times before and then I kind of shrieked in pain because holy crap I did something terrible to my neck. I could barely move it without wanting to cry cry cry.

I took some painkillers when I got to work but the whole day I avoided turning my head. Luckily I have a chair that swivels. The thing is that Tuesdays are yoga days with J so I told her early on that I might not be able to yoga. She countered with possibly the most brilliant plan ever. Are you paying attention? Because I'm only going to say this once:
She suggested that if we didn't do yoga we should get some ice cream and then hang out in the gym sauna.
SO good, right? Ice cream, then a sauna. I KNOW. Folks, we did just that.
The ice cream place near the gym has these things called microsundaes. They're a little bigger than a shot glass and that's the perfect size for me because they still come with hot fudge and whipped cream. I had toasted coconut flavored ice cream. I really think it helped my neck.
Then we went to the gym and sat in the sauna (which for your information is approximately 140 degrees) for a little while. Afterward, a shower was in order. I don't like to shower in strange places but I also don't like to put on my new winter coat over the sweatiest body in the world, so I decided to use the shower. It was then that I discovered how it must feel to be naked in a tornado. That was a strong shower.

Let me give you some advice for the next time you find yourself naked in a tornado:
Wear pasties. Or band-aids. Or some kind of protective-nipple-gear. Otherwise, it's a really good time. Quite pleasant, really.

Tonight I have plans with the Man to go to yoga. We will not be skipping for the sauna, so I hope that my neck starts to feel a little bit better. If not, there might be some whimpering and begging for ice cream.

*I originally typed this word as "mundance"**. Aaaaand I think I invented a new word. MUNDANCE: a boring, ordinary dance. n. "I abandoned my date because I wanted to win the Jack Rabbit Slim's Twist contest but he could only perform a sad mundance." v. "My parents were mundancing at the Arbor Day Gala"***.

**Funny story: I was typing this post, I typed "mundance". Then the computer just shut down on me like a little bitch, and I started to re-type the post, and I accidentally typed "mundance" AGAIN. The mundance: it is powerful.

***This is just an example sentence. I have never seen my parents dance. But I think they would be good at it.

Shocking

2011-12-06T08:27:00.000-05:00

At no point in my life (before a few months ago) would I have ever, ever believed that I would belong to not one, but two fitness organizations. I feel like I want to call up my grammar school gym teacher (Mr. Carroll) and say thank you. He was the last gym teacher I liked.

proof

SuperCat

2011-12-05T08:22:00.001-05:00

SuperCat looks out the window.

SuperCat hunts crime to fight.

Sooooo, there doesn't appear to be any crime right now.
Can SuperCat have a snack?

Saturday at work = SUCK

2011-12-03T08:47:00.001-05:00

I guess that's all I have to say about that.

Gory scenes

2011-12-02T08:10:00.000-05:00

This morning in the car I was hit with the memory of that scene in Heathers, where Winona Rider and Christian Slater are in his car, and she's feeling super guilty because of her involvement in all the murdering, and to punish herself she takes the car's hot cigarette lighter and drills it into her hand. Christian Slater (who does NOT feel guilty) reacts by taking her hand and lighting his cigarette from it.
I'm not sure why I thought of that.

Last night I had terrible nightmares and I woke up all stiff and knotty. I dreamed that a stalker was chasing me and was terrorizing me by chasing and threatening all of my friends before getting to me. Then I had a dream that a bunch of friends and I were watching a show that re-created all kinds of sick gory murders. Not for the purposes of solving crimes - just so people could see the murders. It was a very popular show and all of the murders were shown with my high school as the background.
I used to have nightmares every single night, but that hasn't really been the case for years. I seem to be going through a phase of them right now, which I could do with out.

Let's hope for a weekend free of nightmares! I'll be going to yoga later with the Man and then a wedding tomorrow, so it should be delightful all around. Enjoy your weekend. Yes, you.

A case of the sleepies

2011-11-30T08:45:00.002-05:00

It's the last day of NaBloPoMo, so I have to post something. But I'm sooooo tiiiiiired. My boss and I spent the last few minutes of work yesterday on the budget for 2012 and then he and my co-worker suggested a beer but I had to meet J for yoga at the gym. I went to yoga and after, while J was showering (we were going to meet at my house afterwards to go to Johnny D's) I saw my coworkers and had a quickie beer with them. Then I just made it home before J got there and I changed and we went to Johnny D's where we saw Tim Gueran and I had another beer. Then the Man texted me to let me know that he was with an former co-worker (who now lives in VT) and they'd meet me at The Burren, so I went there and had another beer. Then I went back to Johnny D's and saw Will Dailey play his last songs. Then I went home and I went to sleep but at a little after 3am the Man started sneezing and snarfling and I felt so bad for him because he needed to get up early and it sucked that we were both awake at such a ridiculous hour. When we got up I mentioned that and he said that he'd been asleep the whole time.

That hardly seems fair to me, right? Being awake because of someone else's allergies while they sleep? WRONG.

Now I am super tired and I still have a ton of budget stuff to do and can you imagine that staring at spreadsheets all day will not actually make me feel more awake? I think I may just sleep on my key board and let the letters indent my face. Budget schmudget.

And furthermore: GRRRRRRR. Life is hard when you go out for fun and have beer on a Tuesday and then must live with the consequences. Stupid consequences!!

Some thoughts about auditions

2011-11-29T09:34:00.001-05:00

Last night I auditioned for Pride and Prejudice. It was a good time. When I see people at auditions that I know I feel like we're having a mini-reunion that is periodically interrupted by us going on stage and pretending to be different characters. Also, there's a table with cookies.

As I was on my way home, listening to Rufus Wainwright (I LOVE YOU, RUFUS!), I was bopping along with a smile thinking "It's weird how I'm exhilarated and not terrified by auditions. Shouldn't I be all worried with my stomach tied up in knots? Hm."

Here are the conclusions that I've come to about why I'm not all knotted and scared:

1. If I don't get cast in this show, it doesn't mean that I will never be in another show, ever. I used to kind of think this was a possibility - that the taint of not being cast would get on me and I'd be doomed. It's false. I have not been cast, then cast, then not been cast and then cast again. Shows are independent of each other in that way.

2. The part where you're on stage is generally more fun than scary (because you're ACTING! and that's why you're there after all!), it's the in-between parts that are scary, and only if you're alone and not surrounded by 20-50 people who you've worked with before and already like and can joke and chat with. Also, run-on sentences can be scary. And prepositions at the ends of sentences. And fragments. Hold me.

3. Certainly there have been times when I've auditioned for a show and thought "I'll cry cry cry if I don't get X part!", but more often there are a few parts that would be totally fun to do. Luckily P&P has several wonderful chick parts and if I get any of them I'll be a lucky duck. So, I happily tried to perform each of them as well as I could and let the chips fall where they may. There were a ton of talented women at auditions and many more audition times so I know that I'm in good company. Just because I (or they) don't get X or Y part does not mean that I (or they) didn't kick some ass and do my (their) best. What more could I ask of myself?

4. This is a hobby. If I take it too seriously it will become as stressful and un-fun as a(my) regular job, and I don't want that. I want to come into the building smiling and leave smiling. I want to act as much as possible. I want to go out for beers or margaritas or bellinis or whatever after rehearsals or shows. I want to dedicate the time I spend in the theatre to learning and laughing and enjoying myself, to stretching the bounds of what I can do.
That's what it's all about, yes?

Yes. That is what it's all about.

I try, but I fail. Sometimes.

2011-11-28T08:45:00.001-05:00

I've been trying to post every day in November for NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). I missed a day early on because there was no service for that day in Puerto Rico (but who the hell cares because I was in Puerto Rico). I've been adding trite little posts and drivel-y things every day until yesterday when I cooked a ton of things and drank some wine and then served the things that I cooked and then writhed around in distended-belly pain for a while because of all of the eating. This morning I feel better. And I put the smoke alarms back where they belong since I set them all off repeatedly yesterday. So yeah, yesterday I didn't post and there really wasn't a great reason except I was busy and stuff.

So, I promise, more actual content that comes from my brain and not just sentences to show that I was awake that day.

In the meantime, here's a picture of a pumpkin pie, an apple-blueberry crisp, and some brownies. Mmmmmm... brownies...

Cooking

2011-11-26T19:58:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I don't cook for a while because I'm busy and then I forget how much I actually like being in the kitchen.

I shouldn't give myself the chance to forget.

Ahhhh

2011-11-25T20:23:00.001-05:00

Outside, it smells like woodsmoke.

I think it's nice.

Happy day

2011-11-24T07:14:00.001-05:00

To quote my yoga instructor:

I love that there's a whole day devoted to being thankful and that we mark it with a show of abundance.

I hope your day is full. Full of food, full of loved ones, and full of joy.

Is it so wrong?

2011-11-23T08:34:00.001-05:00

Is it so wrong that I want people to cite their sources when they post politically-incendiary things on Facebook and the like? I'm fairly liberal, and I want to believe that people are getting their news from reputable sources, but I'm not so sure they all are. And this is on both sides of the liberal/conservative line.

I'm not trying to be a jerk, I just think that real messages can be obscured and cheapened by hyperbole masquerading as fact.
That said, I do think there are a lot of terrible (and also wonderful!) things that happen, and I like that people are sharing the news.

Just sayin'.

This one's for Ouiser

2011-11-23T07:46:00.000-05:00

This is my dinner from last night (and breakfast this morning). Trader Joe's Rice Pilaf (rice, other whole grains, soy beans, tomato and onion), cabbage, lentils, garlic, carrots, yell bell pepper. HEALTHY! We're doin' it, Ouiser!

Party

2011-11-22T08:16:00.000-05:00

Last Friday, I went to a bachelorette party for this lady.

It was low-key, at a house instead of a bar, and there were no strippers in sight. There was a bout 8 lbs of cheese, many cupcakes, and a feather boa. Also, that is not a trick of perspective, that glass is bigger than her head and holds and entire bottle of wine. Of course, we filled it with pomegranate-champagne mojitos.

My favorite thing that was said the whole night, when the woman of honor, D, was telling a story about playing a gig in a bar where they were having a bachelorette party for someone years ago:

"Someone threw a dildo on stage, and I played my guitar with the dildo. Just for a little bit."

Yeah. I can imagine that would get unwieldy...
Congratulations, D. I cannot wait to be at your wedding in less than two weeks!

After so long

2011-11-21T08:09:00.005-05:00

I finally got the pictures of Puerto Rico off of my camera and into my computer. I will let the beauty of this magical place speak for itself. Just imagine pairing all of these sights with $2 rum punches...

I did not break this coconut. It was like that. It was like that! Like Puerto Rico just knew I'd be by, taking pictures. And I'd want to see the pure white milky center of its beautiful fruits.

I have a lot of pictures of the back of the Man. He has a fine back.

My leg. I have no shame.

I am happy.

Sometimes I pretended that I was a cast member from Lost. Less annoying than Kate, less crazy than the Australian one and less Asian than Sun.

Backside shot #812.

Spongy-thing! Inexplicably, I have about 15 shots of this thing.

Green!

Translucent crab. They were EVERYWHERE.

I finally figured out the "night time" setting on my camera.

Rufus!

?

2011-11-20T07:34:00.001-05:00

Who is John Galt?

My eyes see what they want to see.

2011-11-19T14:46:00.000-05:00

I just went to a secondhand store in Davis Square. I saw a gorgeous deep green wool and silk sweater for $32. Psyched, I brought it to the register.

"That'll be $320, please."

Uuuuuuummmmmmm, no. I laughed and explained that I thought the sweater was $32, and that I would not actually be purchasing it for $320. the polite salesman laughed and said he didn't blame me.

But man. That would have been a sweet find for $32...

Conversation with the Man this morning

2011-11-18T08:21:00.001-05:00

Leslie: Oh, baby, I had the most terrible dream. You told me that you didn't want to kiss anymore. You said that you'd begrudgingly do it while we had sex but that you didn't like it and you had never liked it. And then I got really mad and started yelling and saying that you couldn't just decide that we wouldn't kiss anymore and I didn't think this relationship would work. And then in the dream I woke up and told you about the dream and you thought it was a really good idea and I got really mad again.

Man: Hmm. Well you don't have to worry.

Leslie: Because you like kissing?

Man: Because I like kissing.

Leslie: Well that's good.

Man: I'm not going to kiss the cats, though.

Leslie: ... ... ... I can live with that.

Thanks

2011-11-17T11:06:00.000-05:00

Lots of people have been posting status updates and whatnot about the various things for which they are truly thankful. Here are a few of mine for today:

Anchovies, blue cheese, bloody marys, musicals, and the friends that like to share those things

Plans to have sushi with some ladies tonight and then take in some very fine theatre

Standing plans to do yoga and a buddy to do it with

Cats who love me so much they will repeatedly and purringly smash their faces into my face (since this is a "thankful" post and not a "murder" post, I'll leave it at that)

A Man who is happy to see me when I get home, pleased to snuggle, smart enough to solve most of the world's problems, and can lift very heavy things

My health, a job, a loving family, unseasonably warm November weather

Downer

2011-11-16T10:01:00.000-05:00

I just wrote a post about being at a party last night and talking to someone who was defending Joe Paterno, saying that he did "enough". Ugh. I do not think he did "enough". I think he should have looked at this flowchart.

That post was a real downer, so instead, here's some animals being dicks.

EDITED TO ADD: Otherwise, the party was very nice. It was a lot of the Man's friends, talking about skiing, snow, ski gear, when to do the first ski, ski houses, and The Ski Channel, which was on tv while we were there. We also ate great food.

Product of China

2011-11-15T08:40:00.001-05:00

Ugh. My Mom sent me this news story (not from Fox News!). It's about the "365 Organic" brand (house brand) stuff at Whole Foods. Apparently it comes from China (even the "California blend"). The problem with this is that the USDA can't certify that the products are organic and the third party that is supposed to do it actually subcontracts the job to a fourth party and all of those levels make my confidence in the process go down. Especially since there have been incidents where produce coming from China has been prevented from being sold here because of the amount of pesticides on the food (my source for that is the same video).

Also, Whole Foods wouldn't be interviewed for the story but I do hope they come out with some information on this because I like shopping at Whole Foods. I liked having confidence in the stuff I was spending so much money on. Dang it.
It should be noted that the story is only about the one house brand and not all of the other things sold there. Though, it makes me wonder about the other stuff. The 365 brand is pretty cheap compared to the other brands in the store, so I guess there had to be a reason.

A tale of shower food

2011-11-14T08:41:00.001-05:00

I went to a delightful wedding shower yesterday at a Thai restaurant. The guest of honor was a little late (45 minutes - though I'm not sure if she actually knew the details of where she had to be and when) and the buffet had already been laid out but we couldn't touch it and we were all so hungry!

One of us had a Reese's peanut butter cup. But there were 6 of us at the table. So...

I got out my pocket knife and gave it to J who does a lot of art and crafts, so I trusted her with scale and a sharp thing.
Then we each had a piece of this:

Each piece was rather tiny but was just enough to stave off the hunger pangs until the bride-to-be got there.

We were all quite grateful.

The End.

COLOR!

2011-11-14T08:22:00.001-05:00

These are some of the color swatches I chose when the Man and I went to Home Depot over the weekend. He claims not to care about paint yet because of these other issues like "plumbing" and "boilers" and whatever, but I know what's important. The top row is a few greys and blues that I'm considering for bedrooms. The greens on the bottom left are dining/living room possibilities, and the grey and white on the bottom left are the neutrals I'm thinking of for hallways/staircases/office.

I love choosing paint colors and with enough music and wine I even like painting :)

PSA

2011-11-13T20:04:00.002-05:00

Moscow Mule:

2 ounces-ish vodka
Juice of half a lime
Ice
Top off with ginger beer

Enjoy that shit, Comrades!

Challenge

2011-11-12T14:40:00.002-05:00

Dear cold weather,

I just bought 2 pairs of sweater tights. BRING IT.

Leslie

Trying to do better

2011-11-11T08:25:00.001-05:00

Inspired by Ouiser's post, I am also going to work on eating better (more vegetables, fewer processed monstrosities). I make this promise to myself at least twice a week, but this time it will stick.
But: I'm grandfathering in the 1/5 pack of REDHOTS that are in my car and the chocolate bar in my refrigerator. Other than that, I'm going to eat healthy foods. Nothing from the FREE candy machine at work (I know! it's like they want us to get diabetes!) or the subsidized vending machine.

Better.

BETTER!!

EDITED TO ADD: I do have several social outings in the next couple of weeks that involve food and food products. I can probably manage to eat pretty well but in one case the gathering specifically involves eating Caesar salad and anchovy pizza. So, we'll have to grandfather that in, too. Thanks. I just wanted to bring that up in the spirit of full disclosure. I'll keep you up to date on this since I'm sure you have nothing better to do than monitor my eating habits. Perhaps next week we'll talk about digestion! Weeeeee!

Salt!

2011-11-10T08:59:00.003-05:00

Here is a picture of some delicious, but quite salty, chicken soup.

Do you have any idea what it means when I say something is salty? It means:
DANG! SALT!

On the brain

2011-11-10T08:41:00.000-05:00

Today, I am thinking of colors for the walls, and furniture arrangements, and potential purging of old and maybe a little getting-of-new. I'm thinking of spreading out a little and inviting people over and drinking wine and eating cheese and laughing.

I am thinking of spending New Year's Eve drinking champagne and ripping up carpeting and pulling down mirror-tiles and planning. And you know how I love to plan.

I am thinking of a new place to live in three months. The sixth place in five and a half years. But I hope we'll be there for a while...

Our house is a very very very fine house...

2011-11-09T13:46:00.002-05:00

So it would seem that we got the house. And by "we", I mean "the Man" since he'll own it, but you know what I mean.

I saw it on the inside for the first time today and it is AWESOME. And by "awesome" I mean "the rooms and the bones and the light and the driveway are good but whoever decorated it was obviously taking direction from drunk toddlers in the 80s".

But who cares about cosmetics, right? We can take down wallpaper and tear up carpet and paint and paint and paint.
I'm very excited right now. This house: it has closets. And pantries (yes! two!). And we're even closer to Starbucks and Dave's Fresh Pasta. It's all a girl could want.

Here's the Man writing a check in the kitchen. Yes! I proudly admit that there's diagonal wood paneling on many of the walls! And I kind of love it!

This is the dining room which is PINK. Plus, those are mirror tiles on the wall. And you can't see it here but there's some sort of weird mauve polyester border around the ceiling. I'm not even going to show you the wallpaper and aqua carpeting. That's just for me!

In my mind I'm imagining a future where the Man is an evil slumlord of Somerville and I am his beautiful wife who does nothing but oppresses people all day and of course I'll wear fur and a white turban cap with a giant blood diamond on it and there'll be a movie about our inevitable demise and I will insist on playing myself because I'll think that all of the plastic surgery I've had has rendered me as beautiful as ever when in fact my face will be so stretched that my ears will be located on the back of my head. It'll be such a mess!

So, that's the stuff that's in my head. You're welcome.

Powers

2011-11-08T13:12:00.000-05:00

I thought that as an adult I would have powers. Not special powers, mind you, just regular powers.

I thought I would have the power to eat more salads and fewer snack bags of potato chips.
I thought I would have the power to schedule haircuts before my hair goes all floppy and weird.
I thought I would have the power to cultivate a healthy sleep pattern in line with my circadian rhythms.
I thought I would have the power not to get my hopes up when we see a house we really like and then the Man puts an offer on it but we don't get it.

I have none of these powers.
Luckily, I can eat more salad tomorrow. I can generally get a hair appointment within a day or so. I'll sleep when I'm dead (I hope). And that house (somehow) just came back on the market.

So that's something.

Puerto Rico, the shining star (remember those ads from when we were little?)

2011-11-07T15:16:00.004-05:00

Oh yeah, so I just got back from Rincon, Puerto Rico. It was pretty awesome. The Man and I both have a little PPRVSD (Post-Puerto-Rican-vacation-stress-disorder).

Here’s a rundown of events, in case you’re interested, or are thinking of going yourself and want a review:

Tuesday night before we left

New England was cold. I got home after yoga with J to a dang messy apartment. It appeared as if the Man was trying to play some sort of pre-vacation joke on me. I tidied up as appropriate. I also vacuumed, threw out some perishables, took out the trash, checked our travel information and documents, and did some other stuff. The Man was at his kickball league championship game. They won. (See how I’m making it seem like he goes out and has fun and I slave away at home? That’s only partially true… He did call the cab company, and pay for the cab and lots of other stuff, and carry my bag a lot of the time. And he drove a bunch. He’s a good dude.)

Wednesday

We got up at 5am and showered, readying ourselves for the 6am cab. It was hella-cold outside.

We got to the airport in plenty of time for the flight so we had breakfast and coffee at Boston Beerworks. Then we had Starbucks coffee and waited for the flight. We sat in the cramped plane for three hours and forty-five minutes while he read and watched satellite tv and I read My Life in France. Finally we got off the plane in San Juan and stripped off our sweaters. We changed from sneakers to flip flops. FREEDOM!

A shuttle took us to the Enterprise Rent-a-Car where the polite rep pretty much forced me to take the $29/day insurance because, as he says, 70% of people in Puerto Rico don’t have insurance and even if they hit you it’s your fault. Boo.

Here began a super-harrowing three and a half hour drive. It started pouring almost immediately into our trip. The directions seemed easy, and the highway parts were, but we got off the highway too early at one point and wandered around some one-way mountain paths masquerading as roads. Then we go off track trying to muddle our way through directions that did not include street names or landmarks that actually existed. At one point when I was about to have a nervous breakdown because we couldn’t have been more than 100ft from the condo, the Man suggested that I navigate and he drive. I agreed. He immediately backed into a fence with the rented Hyundai. INSURANCE!

We drove around for a little longer, growing more and more desperate. Then, finally we found the place. It was a three bedroom condo with a pool out front and a giant roof-deck from which the ocean was visible and easily heard. Amazing.

We walked to a restaurant about a block over (if there had been actual blocks) and sat on lawn furniture under an awning. The place was all outdoor except for a little hut where they made sushi. The bar served $4 rum punches. There was a giant screen where they showed 80s surf movies. I loved it. It was still a bit rainy but that just made the plants seem more lush and the climate more tropical.

After a few drinks and some sushi we tiredly walked back to the condo, stopping at the convenience store next door for some sunblock and two $20 bottles ($5 value!) of wine. CONVENIENCE!

Thursday

We got up relatively early on Thursday thinking that we’d get a bunch of stuff done. We were both fearful and irritated at the thought of getting back in the car, but we kind of had to if we wanted to explore the various beaches and restaurants and get some basics at the grocery store. We did end up checking out a few different places, after which we (with only a little getting lost) made it to a breakfast place called The English Rose. It was at the tippy top of a huge hill with a crazy winding one-lane (barely) road. We had coffee and wonderful eggs benedict and something called “The Full Monty” that included the very British “bubble-and-squeak” (fried mixed vegetables). After filling our bellies completely we wanted to have some beach time, so I rented an umbrella and chair on the beach right near the condo and the Man braved the humongous waves. I played around in the water and read some short stories and then it was lunch.

We went to Tamboo, a little pub with a deck that had collapsed, but was still attached to the restaurant. We sat at a bar area in the back right on the beach and within spitting distance of the water. The Man had a steak sandwich with a salad and I had a spicy shrimp salad sandwich with tostones (fried smashed plantains – you should have these, like right now).

We also each had a rum punch ($1.87 each) and a Medalla Light (the local PR beer, $2 each). There was a lot of contented sighing and staring out at the beach.

After a quick nap at the condo we were ready to try to find this nearby Thai Place, Ode to the Elephants. What should have taken us about three minutes of walking ended up taking at least ten because again, the directions we had were terrible. As it turns out, the Man and I are not at our best when we’re not sure where we’re going. To be fair, it is stressful, and no one generally raises his or her voice, but, an outsider might think that we don’t like each other quite so much as we do if he heard us at these times. I try very hard (and I know the Man tries too) always to be nice – because if this is the person you want to spend most of your time with, you (I) want things to be as pleasant as possible all the time. Sometimes it’s hard. As I’m sure you know.

We don’t need to talk about that anymore.

We ate delicious spicy fried sole and ginger shrimp and had dirty martinis. Then we strolled home and had some more wine.

Wow, life was so hard in Rincon. I’m not sure how we pulled through.

Friday

We wanted to get an earlier start so as to maximize surf/beach time. The Man was eager to start the day and so he got up several times before 6am, each time deciding that it was crazy to get up before dawn. I didn’t sleep that well because I kept seeing “Tsunami Zone” signs everywhere and I had recurring dreams that the sound of the air conditioner in the condo was the sound of a tsunami overtaking the condo (it wasn’t). Finally the sun started to rise and the Man made coffee. We drank it, put the surf board and beach gear in the car(slightly farther away beach) and went to the local bakery for lox bagels and more coffee. The waves were huge so we lingered over our breakfast on the beach while contemplating nature’s utter dominance over man. It was intense. The Man put in a good couple of hours surfing and I re-reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

Since we were already in the car we drove to a little bar called The Rum shack and had pulled pork and fish tacos and more plantains and EVEN MORE RUM PUNCH. These cups were $5 each, but they were bigger. And delicious. And rummy. We were finding that pretty much everyone there spoke English and was generally low key and friendly. I would say that this particular lunch was when we fully relaxed into the vacation. On the way back to the car I kept asking the Man to sing that Foster the People song and he did (probably because of the rum punches). We then spent some quality time in the condo pool – the water was crazy warm. We took a walk and thought about doing yoga but it seems that food and sunshine and rum and swimming makes people tired, so we nixed the idea of an afternoon surf/yoga in favor of another nap. Then before dinner we had a glass of wine on the roof deck, where I attempted to pull some sea-urchin spines out of the Man’s foot. I was unsuccessful. It didn’t matter much, because DUDE, it’s Puerto Rico…

For dinner we went to a tapas place about a ¼ mile down the mostly sidewalk-less/street-lampless road. They weren’t technically open yet (since it was just the very beginning of surf season) but there were plenty of people there. The menu was quite small, and not on paper yet so they just had a small chalkboard (just one!) that they gave everyone in turn to review. The Man had some beautiful rare steak with sweet plantains and I had a pick plate with spicy chorizo, fresh manchengo and pickled vegetables. It was delightful and not too heavy. We don’t usually have desserts, but we shared a cream puff with espresso and hazelnut cream and some wonderful coffees. Yum.

Saturday

More early rising and early surfing. This time we just had some quick coffee and a banana before heading out and the Man was the only one in the water for quite some time. By the time other people were heading into the water, we were headed back to The English Rose on the scary hilltop for more wonderful breakfast.

After breakfast we hung out for a little while digesting at the condo and then it was back to the beach. I tried to boogie board, but the water was so powerful that I kept getting pulled back and under. Without flippers I was likely a goner, so I just splashed a bit in the shallow end and then took up my usual position reading on the beach and watching the many many loose dogs sniff their way across the sand, chasing crabs and the waves. (Side note: I named all of the dogs I saw. My favorites were Rufus, a red-brown mutt that lived next door and laid himself as flat as possible in the shade for most of the day, and George and Lenny, a big-dog-and-small-dog duo who dominated the beach.)

Finding that it was lunchtime again (woe!) we went to the place right next door to the condo (Rock Bottom) and had some punch and mediocre food. Sad. To console ourselves we went back to Tamboo for more punch. Two each. Yay, rum!

This time, overlooking the beach was a little melancholy as we knew we were leaving the next morning. Boo.

What better way to make yourself feel better than to take a nap? No better way. Well, maybe with some wine on the deck while you’re watching the sun set… that’s pretty good too.

After the nap and wine/sunset, there was dinner. We went back to Pools, the sushi place from the first night, and had some punch and edamame and wonderful sushi. We also watched more surfing movies, where the waves were so big I was very nervous for the surfers and camera crew (they all made it).

After dinner I actually didn’t feel all that well. The Man wondered if it might be food poisoning, but I blame the fact that we were leaving soon. We sat on the couch and watched a movie and snuggled. I might have napped a little. I seriously haven’t napped so much in the last 10 years as I did on this vacation.

We tidied up the condo a little before bed so we wouldn’t have to do much the next morning because we wanted to go to the beach one last time.

Sunday

We got up early and went to the beach from about 6:20 to 7:30. Then we swiftly took care of business at the condo, making sure not to leave the place a wreck, and we got in the car. We hit the bakery for bagels and said “See you soon” to Rincon. The trip back to San Juan was clear and mostly traffic-free. We made it in about two hours. The Man drove and I made sure we stayed on course all the way to the car rental place, which we did.

At the airport we cried into our over-priced rum punches and Americanized “local” food. Oh, we did not want to go home at all. The plane ride was equally sad as the Man started to do some work (the first time he had opened his computer) and I began wondering if the kitties had destroyed the apartment and how cold Boston would be (they did not destroy anything and the weather wasn’t too terrible). We made it home in one piece and didn’t do much but talk about going back to Rincon at the first available opportunity.

So. It was great and beautiful and relaxing and we loved it. We definitely want to go back. Soon. It’s true that we didn’t do a lot of tourist-y stuff that I’d planned to do (tour bioluminescent bays, snorkel, hike, kayak to Monkey Island) but we just didn’t want to get back in the car at all after that first day. I think next time we’ll sneak in a couple of touristy things now that we know how to get around a bit better. We’ll probably also stay a little longer. It was heavenly.

Pictures soon.

Internet, you make me sad

2011-11-07T08:36:00.001-05:00

On our return flight from Puerto Rico, we realized that David Ortiz was on board (because that dude is frugal and takes JetBlue).
I looked him up online this morning and this is one of the first things that came up:

UGH. Freaking gross, internet.

Side note: David was very polite to all of the young women who insisted they get a picture with him. The Man and I were right there, so the Man volunteered to take the pictures.

Must read

2011-11-06T19:18:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness. If you've ever thought you might like to read a book about living in France and/or learning to cook, you should definitely read My Life in France. It's written in the voice of Julia Child by her grand-nephew Alex Prud'homme.

So delightful.
Now I am back in Boston.

Sigh...

Update

2011-11-04T07:07:00.002-04:00

Time: 7am
Status: awake, coated in a thin layer of sunblock 50
Attitude: positive

High altitude breakfast

2011-11-03T10:48:00.000-04:00

This morning we drove, forever, straight up a mountain to get eggs. The eggs, and the view, were fantastic (though the drive was a bit harrowing).

Good times.

All the way from PR

2011-11-02T17:27:00.003-04:00

I'm sitting on the deck of a condo in Puerto Rico right now. I win.

Edited to add: It was a 3.75 hour plane ride and more than 3.5 hours in the car through pouring rain with lousy directions, dude. I need this.

IT troubles

2011-11-01T12:27:00.000-04:00

My brother needed someone to come and look at his computer at work. The IT guy needed his password:

IT Guy: Hey man, what’s your password?

Bro: Oh. It’s um. Ki…

IT Guy: …yeah?

Bro: LLK…

IT Guy: Ok…?

Bro: i… LL

IT Guy: So… kill kill? Cool! Are you a gamer or a hunter?

Bro: Murderer.

IT Guy: ... … … …

D'oh

2011-11-01T08:16:00.000-04:00

We had a giant, healthy bush of parsley.

But in my neglect, I think this is all that I could salvage after the snow. I'll check again later, but I was hoping to have LOTS of dried parsley all winter long.
Boo :(

Helloween

2011-10-31T08:57:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween yous guys.
I feel like Halloween is so much different now than when I was little, walking around the neighborhood in my brother's hand-me-down Yoda costume.

Here's what I like about Halloween:
-It's silly, and funny, and people dress up like anything they want
-FREE candy everywhere
-Halloween decorations are pretty fun
-It's horror movie time

Here's what I really don't like about Halloween:
-So many costumes involve exposed flesh and I get so miserable and cold.
-There's too much pressure to come up with some great costume (yes there is). This turns something that should be fun into something that causes me stress. And I already manufacture so many reasons to be stressed that I don't need another one...
-Too many slutty girl costumes. It doesn't have to be like that, ladies. You can wear pants.

But I'll try not to be a killjoy. Have a great time. Eat candy. My teeth hurt just thinking about it.

I am looking FORWARD

2011-10-31T08:31:00.000-04:00

I had a weekend.

There were shows. And a cast party. And a lovely dinner Saturday night which was book-ended on both sides by extremely harrowing car trips in the premature October snow. There was girl-y snuggling and X-Men watching on the couch. There were bad dreams and weirdo cats.

Now I am at work thinking of the fact that I only have 2 days here until the Man and I leave for Puerto Rico for five days. It will be warm and we will snorkel and hike and see bio-luminescent ponds and eat fish. It's going to be great.

I wish you guys could come with me. You know?

Someone is cold and that someone is me

2011-10-28T09:03:00.000-04:00

Last night I couldn't get warm as we were doing the show because the theatre was about 30 degrees below zero and I was too stupid to bring tights or leggings* or something to wear under my costume. I was so cold and shivery that my muscles ached from being so clenched the whole time so I skipped our formal party and went straight home and to bed. COLD.

Then I woke up to this:

That's not my car but it is a car on my street. Yes - that's snow and ice on the rear window. Sigh...

Driving into work there were tons of cops and a huge tow truck on the bridge I cross to get out of Ball Square. It turns out someone had driven onto the curb, through the chain-link fence, and down a small hill.

I hope everyone's day gets better and warmer.

*I don't own leggings. I never wanted to either, except for last night.

Leftovers for breakfast

2011-10-28T08:23:00.002-04:00

Leftover Halloween candy from your office's party makes the best breakfast. HEALTHY!

EDITED TO ADD: I have discovered that the magical number of breakfast mini-candies that I can eat before my teeth ache is two. Too bad I ate three...
EDITED TO ADD, PART DEUX: I learned! This afternoon I just had two mini-Butterfingers! Weeeeee! Sugar High!!!

How NOT to eat an entire 6.5 ounce bag of Red Hots for dinner

2011-10-26T08:20:00.002-04:00

1. Go and run several errands after work.
2. In the course of these errands go to Michael's to get some yarn.
3. Wait in line for approximately 37 minutes despite it being 7:40pm on a Tuesday. Spy Red Hots in the "impulse buy" section.

4. Purchase those Red Hots.
5. Decide on the way home that these Red Hots will be dinner (maybe along with some red wine - ADULTHOOD!).
6. When you get home and are still in the driveway in the car determine that you can't wait for one more second and rip open the bag, spilling half the contents all over your car and the driveway (because the door was open).
7. Put approximately 30 Red Hots in your mouth and spend 10 minutes picking up all of the errant Red Hots.
8. Come inside, trash the escaped Red Hots, pour yourself some wine.
9. Then some more...
10. After all the wine you're a little tipsy, so you should probably eat something healthy.
11. Half a bunch of kale? YES. Sauté that shit right up.
12. Eat all the kale (Eat ALL the kale? Yes.).
13. Congratulations! You have not eaten all of the Red Hots and now there are still leftover Red Hots.

Some things about living together

2011-10-25T08:38:00.000-04:00

Last night I was waiting for the Man to come home so that we could go to yoga together*. I was reading Health magazine** on the couch and he came over and sat next to me and we started talking about work and he began to take off his socks and roll them into self-contained balls and I stopped him and said:

Leslie: Wait wait WAIT. You don't pull them off in little balls, you pull them off whole and then actually roll them up?? On purpose?
(side note: this means that when they go in the laundry they get wet but to do not get clean AND do not get dry in the dryer. I am so skeeved out even writing that)
M: Yes. Well, they're damp and I want to keep them that way.
At which time I paused, stared at him. And then busted out laughing for about 5 minutes. He knows me, that guy.

You know, I thought that once we lived together we'd spend more time together than before. And we do spend more just-got-up-in-the-morning time and also more oh-I'm-so-tired-let's-get-to-bed time. But not a lot in between. Walking back to the car after yoga I realized that we wouldn't be spending time together (awake time) again until Saturday. And no alone time until next Monday.
Whoa. That's way different than I was thinking. This is really just Part One of "Things I thought would be this way when we started living together but are really very that way". Stay tuned...

*Yes! We go to yoga together and I think it's cute!
**Wow did this magazine make me mad. It's supposed to be about your HEALTH but there was this whole section in the middle about make-up - which is totally fine except that under each make-up heading was the subtitle:
Yep, you need it!

Are you fucking kidding me?? Health magazine is telling me that I NEED face primer and brow filler and concealer and and and... Just NO, Health. I will fuck your shit up if you get on me for not wearing face primer.

The Parents visited and everyone survived

2011-10-24T08:35:00.001-04:00

I always keep an extra cat head around. You know, for guests.

Not really, this is Conan trying to manipulate my parents into letting him sniff (and probably lick) all of our delicious goodies on the table.

My parents visit was delightful! They came to my show with the Man on Friday, and we went out to Harvest in Harvard on Saturday. We ate duck and venison and tenderloin and truffled french fries and then we all had fancy booze-y coffees for dessert. YUM!

I did this thing

2011-10-24T08:30:00.005-04:00

So, months and months ago, I bought this chair. It had good bones, but gross everything else. I got it so that I could re-upholster it in my great upholstery class. The chair was in pretty terrible shape. It was not padded correctly, and the person who had upholstered it before me took a lot of shortcuts.

While I was taking it apart I realized that the ugly yellow and brown tweed fabric was masking the original hideous green upholstery underneath.

Hidden within the fabric I found such gems as: Mike's Hard Lemonade labels, some cardboard from a Schlitz beer package, several greasy pennies, and loose tacks. It's like this chair wanted to give me tetanus. (Well screw you chair! I got my tetanus shot about six years ago! It felt like my arm was going to fall off but now I know it was worth it!)

After I picked out my pretty red velvety fabric to replace the musty old moldy-green color, I was on my way.

Many, MANY weeks went by as I worked to make this chair as sleek and modern-ly beautiful as I knew it could be.

I hammered in endless tacks and I did lots of hand-sewing and I smoothed and measured and blah blah blah.

Taaaaaaaa DAAAAAAAAAA!
She is beautiful, no? Also, the cats love her - so far only for sleeping and not for clawing.

I love it.

I wish Sleepy Hollow was a place to take a nap

2011-10-21T08:31:00.003-04:00

America*, I need a nap.

I've been involved in a show. A radio show version of Sleepy Hollow, which has been fun! And good! But has also made me tired! And stuff! You know, in all the normal ways you're tired when you get up, go to work, speed home, scarf food, speed to the theatre, ingest lots of caffeine, perform, speed home, kind of sleep, and then do it all again the next day and the next day. PLUS! This may come as a surprise, but an unnamed cat will not let me sleep. He's basically a dick.

Oh, and my parents will be here this afternoon. Which is nice, but for the last few days in between speeding off to different places I have been doing more vacuuming and sheets-washing and second-bedroom-preparing and Whole Foods shopping than usual. I don't want them to think that we live in a hair-covered house where every kitchen surface holds tomatoes from the garden, but the fridge contains nothing but mostly-empty containers of olives, and magazines are all over the floor to deter the cats from scratching the rug. Even though we do live in that environment, I would prefer they not think so.

So, that's all I've got. I'm looking forward to the visit with family, but I also hope that no one minds if I nod off in my glass of wine after the show tonight.

Have a great weekend you guys.

*Yes, it's a hat-tip to Bernie Mac. I liked that guy.

Stuff I think of when I'm partially sleeping

2011-10-19T08:24:00.004-04:00

Last night in bed (alone, because the Man is away) I invented this super hero. I derived the name from the song RAGG MOPP, which is in our show (We open tonight! Quick, go buy 100 tickets right now!). I simply put "e"s at the end of both words rather than the superfluous "p" and it becomes "RAGE MOPE"*. RAGE MOPE will be powered by her enormous well of rage and will fight back against the unjust things that make it so we can't sleep.

Some of these things include:

-Cats who make noises and fight with each other over nothing
-The noise your old heater** makes
-Cats who step on your throat and/or nipples
-The dishwasher
-A cat tail whipping you in the face and getting cat hair stuck in your chapstick
-Neighbors coming home late drunk
-Fucking cats doing whatever the hell fucking cats do

Some of the methods that RAGE MOPE would employ to exact revenge***

-Punching the mattress to try to frighten cats or burglars or whatever
-Ignoring the heater because at least when the heater is making noise it is heating her
-Mumbling and shaking a squirt bottle threateningly
-Smiling at the thought of how clean the dishes will be tomorrow morning when she wakes up
-Getting up and running into the living room naked with only one eye open and stomping around to make the cats think she is an angry hungry nudist cyclops with a taste for kitty brains

So yeah. I'm expecting an animated show, some plastic toys, and a utility belt thingy.

R-A-G-E M-O-P-E! RAGE MOPE!

*I briefly considered a superhero called RAGE MOPP who was a anthropomorphic mop who fought against the powers of dirt and for clean floors, but that didn't really go anywhere...
**This is just an example. We have not yet turned on the heat.
***I mean justice

Panty hose: modern torture device (self-inflicted)

2011-10-18T08:36:00.001-04:00

Putting on panty hose this morning I came to the definite conclusion that hose are made exclusively for Amazonian giants or midgets. And no one in between.
Incontravertible evidence:

Sorry, but yes, this is the part of my body where the leg connects to the hip*. There are about 8 inches of scrunched up panty hose in this fold and the damn things still go up to my arm pits. What the what? WHO fits into these things???

Also, as a side note, I'm pretty sure that these hose are made out of pure evil by masochistic hobgoblins. Just sayin'.

*Sexy, no? Admit it, right now you're composing a fan-fic scenario in which I perpetrate some sexual asphyxiation on you with my support hose. You perv! No, I will not post a picture of me in my Spanx! That's for the Man's eyes only!

Sleerphhzzz...snort. Wha?

2011-10-18T08:19:00.002-04:00

Oh, sorry. That was supposed to read "sleep", but I'm a little out of it. I went to bed later than usual because of this:

Nope, it's not some sort of magical musical show I went to*, it was the night of our show where we go over one million cues. Or, rather, we get there on time and wait for hours before anyone needs us and then we hope on stage for the last 45 minutes and zip through our show**. But, such is the nature of things and that makes for a sleepy Leslie the next day. Luckily as I get dressed in the morning I watch 30 Rock on my iPad and watching Alec Baldwin is like taking a fistful of handsome multivitamins. RAWR.

*Although there is a blue translucent drum kit on stage. Totally dope.
**I'm only half complaining. I kind of love this stuff. Plus, I got to look at my Martha Stewart magazine for more than five minutes. Score.

EDITED TO ADD: I should probably note that we open on Wednesday and our show is both funny AND scary and has live music. And I'm pretty sure you can buy beer in the theatre lobby. All good things.

When he's being good...

2011-10-17T09:40:00.000-04:00

He's such an angel when he's sleeping.

Sadly, he sleeps while I'm away and parties when I sleep...

Holy awesome mutants!

2011-10-14T09:29:00.004-04:00

Last night the Man and I watched* X Men: First Class. I expected to like it because I like the franchise, but I didn't expect to love it. But I totally did. Here's why:

Reason the first: James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender making my head explode
Have you even seen these guys? James McAvoy is all pink-lipped and fighting-for-justice and charming cocky smiles and Michael Fassbender is all dark moody brooding and black turtlenecks. Also, they both have accents. Oh my.

Reason 2: The "kids" were not annoying or too slang-y
Other than Professor X saying "groovy" a couple of times and the young folks getting slightly rowdy at the secret headquarters one time, there wasn't any detestable young-person** behavior, or misbehavior. So I was able to like them and not scream at the tv: "Get a job, you hippies!"

And finally: There is so much wonderful mod design*** in that movie
The clothes! the interiors! I was drooling the whole time. I did a lot of design stealing in my head for when I get a giant mid-century house to decorate one day. That's probably also when I'll have that unicorn farm.

*Well, one of us watched, and one of us kind of watched while getting his head scratched and then fell asleep. Guess who's who!
**That's right: I am one hundred years old. Where's my support hose??
***Speaking (writing?) of this, I'm now on Pinterest. Find me if you want to see lots of beautiful shoes I will never wear and furniture I can't afford to own. Mmmm... design fantasies...

I have become a weirdo

2011-10-13T10:08:00.002-04:00

PROOF: After work last night I went to yoga*. Power Yoga. I was sweaty and I twisted and I balanced for an hour and a half and after I went home and showered I sat at the table and watched a couple of episodes of 30 Rock on my iPad. While I was doing this I felt lazy. Lazy! I actually wondered if there was some other physical thing I could do to pass the time so that I didn't atrophy.
I know I have mental problems when I need to convince myself that I am allowed some downtime after working all day and then going to yoga. Clearly, I really need to watch all the Star Wars movies this weekend on the couch. I meant to do it last weekend but I was too busy doing things. Who am I? It's like I don't even know me.
QED

*And then my cats did something funny!**, and then I ate a delicious dinner!*** Let me tell you about yoga and dinner and cats over an over again! FOREVER! Spoiler alert: That's the whole blog!****
**Yeah, they didn't actually do something funny so much as I caught one of them peeing in the basement***** and I chased him around and around, shouting like a maniac until I slammed my toe against the stairs and decided I had been beaten. And then I felt like crying.
***Actually, last night I did not eat a delicious dinner. Instead I waited for the Man to tell me that his delayed flight landed so I could pick him up, bring him home, and eat. But he had already eaten (rightfully so) because his flight had been delayed and he was stuck in Pittsburgh. When we got home I had a small apple and a slice of salami.
****Sometimes that's what it feels like to me, too. Sorry.
*****What the fucking fuck is that? Why? WHY? I am good and generous with food and petting! Up with this I will not put.

Beautiful October weekend

2011-10-12T10:52:00.002-04:00

This past weekend I had a mini-reunion with some Colgate ladies (to celebrate J's upcoming 35th birthday). J and I left from Boston after work on Friday and K and A left from Buffalo at about the same time.
They beat us to central New York by almost an hour. YAY, traffic!
We did manage to fight the traffic malaise with loud singing and also McDonald's food (we were on THE ROAD! We had no choice!).
After hugs and kisses and some laughter we went to bed because dang I get tired early these days.

Saturday morning we went to brunch in Cooperstown and paid almost no money for delicious food and coffee. Here's what I had for food: a salt bagel with bacon egg and cheese. When the woman alerted me to the sandwich's completion, she simply said: "Salt Bacon!". These are two of my very favorite food words and putting them together was brilliant. I repeated those words several times throughout the day. After food we wandered into a farmer's market and bought a knit hat for A because she put it on and it was the cutest thing EV.ER.
Then we went apple picking and we ate warm, fresh cider doughnuts. I know, people: my life is pretty much constant torture. The action doesn't stop there. When we got back to the house (J's parents kindly lent us the use of their home) we put on some Prince and had a dance party. But not satisfied with that level of awesomeness we (ok, mostly me) rode around on toddler bikes and then braved the not-altogether-stable trampoline. J and I jumped a lot while A and K bounced like frying bacon (or rather, like the freshman girls in Dazed and Confused when they are instructed to act like frying bacon). I had just had a giant glass of milk prior to the jumping: a choice I regretted immediately.

For dinner we went to a delightful place called (I think) the Rose and Kettle and I ate this:

I ate it so much:

Duck, polenta and green beans. They never had a chance.

There was not much else to do Saturday night besides chat and then roll off to bed. Sunday morning we had another brunch (delicious!) and then headed back to our respective towns.

Monday I did some things around the house, met J for lunch, and went to yoga.

Today I am SUPER psyched because the Man comes back to town and I pick him up from the airport tonight. I haven't seen him in a week and I'm going to snuggle him SO HARD.

EDITED TO ADD:
Conversation I had with J just before going into the J Crew outlet on Sunday:
Leslie: Can we just not do Christmas presents this year?
J: Deal. We'll make cookies instead.

Conversation I had with J just after getting into the J Crew outlet and seeing a purple velvet blazer:
Leslie: That is SO cute! I could get it for your for Christmas!
J: !

Sun Cat

2011-10-11T08:23:00.002-04:00

Variance

2011-10-07T09:19:00.000-04:00

This is the to-do list I brought home last night:

This is what I actually got done:

Where is that elusive duvet cover??

Long weekend for the win

2011-10-07T09:10:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty damn excited about this three-day weekend. But I am bit sad that I won't see the Man for almost a week. He's in an out of town for work. When I'm home, he's out and when he's home, I'll be with J, K, and A in CNY for a mini-reunion.
I leave right after work today to pick up J and head out. We'll likely have some greasy road food and sing a lot of Billy Joel in the car. Good times.

The problem I have right now is that the work day before the three-day weekend is always so LOOOOOOONNNGG. But I'm sure I'll make it. Just.

Travelly Traveler McTravelpants.

2011-10-06T08:44:00.001-04:00

There have been years when I didn't go anywhere for a vacation or a business trip or... anything.
But that's not the way I want my life to go. I like to travel. I love to see and taste new things. To discover that there is a different kind of music I've never heard, or a landscape I'd never imagined. I like doing ordinary things in exotic places. I like being with friends and family in different countries.
My brother and I are pretty lucky in that my parents took us on lots of vacations to far away places. My mother loves to go everywhere - anywhere, and she's fearless about driving on any roads (or even "roads" if we're talking about Wales). My father traveled everywhere for work and though he was less enthusiastic, he understood the importance of the experiences.

In four weeks the Man and I are heading to Puerto Rico for a few days to surf and hike and eat and play. I'm excited that we'll be far away, together. I look forward to reading on the beach and finding places to eat delicious breakfast and feeling like I'm a world away from home for a little while.

And, for after the holidays, my brother and I have planned a trip to Malta. I haven't been to Europe in a few years and I am eager to be in the middle of the Mediterranean, exploring.

Obviously it's not financially viable to constantly go on vacations, and I doubt that work would let me stretch the vacation policy that far, but I think it's important when I do have the opportunity to go on this kind of an adventure to take it.
Take it!

Wheel

2011-10-04T08:35:00.001-04:00

Last night in yoga I did wheel pose, like you do, and at the end the instructor said: "Now come down on your forearms".

Wah??

But yes:

I think this artist's rendering shows that it CAN be done. By stick figures. And me. And that other girl in class.
Yes.

EDITED TO ADD: My head is too big in this drawing. It was actually looking down at the mat between my arms. I was too lazy to re-draw this.

Harm

2011-10-04T08:22:00.001-04:00

I KNOW! It's a terrible picture and why did I post it? Well I took it yesterday in Porter Square and it was just to remind me that way down there in the picture is the CVS Pharmacy, but several of the lights were out in the sign and it just said "harmacy". Awesome, no? Remind me never to get my medication at the harmacy.

Keeping the color

2011-10-03T15:53:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to avoid wearing only black and grey all fall/winter. I tend to fall into this rut because I only feel like wearing black and grey because WOE IS ME THE EARTH IS DEAD. You know how it is.
Today I wore this scarf around my neck, flight attendant style:

No one ordered a drink from me, so I guess it went ok.

P.S. HOLY freaking EYEBAGS it looks like I've been boxing.

Weekends full of togetherness are nice

2011-10-03T09:44:00.000-04:00

On Saturday after my upholstery class, I went to a wedding reception for a wedding that happened a while ago for D and P. The reception was at MIT, which is very near where I work, so I almost felt like I was driving into work. Luckily the reception itself was nothing like work. Partly because there were dancing people and babies and kababs, but also because I generally don't carry around a glass of red wine wherever I go at work.
It was a very lovely time and everyone was smiling and I always appreciate the celebration of a couple of people like seeing together. Afterward, the Man and I flopped on the couch and were lazy. It doesn't happen a lot, but we were happy to engage in a little laziness Saturday night.

Sunday morning we switched it up and went to yoga together. I enjoy few things more than straining to hold a seemingly impossible position while profusely sweating and then looking over at the Man and having him wink at me. It undoes me completely.

Later we went to breakfast and then began doing things around the house in earnest, and his parents came over for an early dinner. There have been several people in his family with health concerns recently and he thought his parents just wanted a little low pressure, easy being together. And it was nice. They had quinoa for the first time. Yum.

There's a scene in the movie The Witches of Eastwick where Jack Nicholson is talking to Cher about the unsatisfying banality of going home to take care of her child and house because there is always more housework - there are always more dishes to clean, more clothes to wash. He's right, of course. I spend lots of time cleaning the same counters and putting away the same dishes and folding the same clothes. But I'm happy about the memories of those meals and the yoga we do in those clothes and the laughing we do while making food on those countertops. I'm grateful.
This was a good weekend.

Some words are a challenge to spell

2011-10-03T09:18:00.001-04:00

Behold! the Basil Archipelago in the Saucy Tomato Sea:

Yes, I made tomato sauce. I froze tomato sauce. We still have so MANY tomatoes. We will be ingesting shocking amounts of lutein this winter. Join us.

A thing I love wearing that thing I love

2011-09-30T10:21:00.003-04:00

A friend, K, just posted this on my wall on Facebook:

"I heard you like pugs, so I got pugs for your pug."

I wish I had a Pug to fit into those pugs. I really do.

This morning

2011-09-30T08:36:00.005-04:00

5:20am: I hear the first cat whine of the day. I know the day is going to be fucking awesome, because who doesn't like being awakened by a whiny cat at 5:20am?

5:26am: The other cat stands on my shoulder and neck and then lies down on my face.

5:26.5am: I breathe in cat hair. There is cat hair in my mouth. I move my arms, which are pinned to my sides by cats and the Man. I wriggle my hands to my face and empty my mouth of fur.

5:27am: The cats understand my movement as a sign that I am awake and I'd like to party.

5:28am: Now there are two cats perched on my torso. One is purring and jamming his face into my face, the other is licking his own butt.

5:30am: The cats decide they are fighting and launch off of my body and onto the floor. They screech a bit.

5:32am: I hear rug-scratching sounds from the living room. I get up with the spray bottle but when I get to the living room, no one is there.
I go back to bed.

5:35am: I hear rug-scratching sounds from the living room. I get up with the spray bottle but when I get to the living room, no one is there.
I go back to bed.

5:41am: CAT SCREAM OF DISSATISFACTION! I shake the spray bottle menacingly.

5:42am: CAT SCREAM! I sit up and spray in the general direction of the door. Cats run in the opposite direction.

5:43am: I get up to pee. I am set upon by the cats, who are purring and meowing with great purpose. I pet them as I pee. I go back to bed. They meow more.

5:45am: I hear rug-scratching sounds from the living room. I get up with the spray bottle but when I get to the living room, no one is there. I got back to bed.

5:47am: Both cats get back on the bed. One licks himself a lot while the other kneads my shoulder. One of the Man's muscly arms shoots over me to push the kneading cat to a lying-down-only-and-not-moving position.

5:50am: The Man gets up to pee. The cats get off the bed and follow. They follow him back and both hop onto my pillow.

5:51am: MEOW. Meow. MEEEEEEEE-yawn-OW.

I push pile of cats off the side of the bed.

6:05am: The alarm goes off. YAY!

Memories, two of them

2011-09-29T08:29:00.003-04:00

Last night the Man and I went, for the last time, to Gargoyles in Davis Square. It's closing*. About three and a half years ago, the Man and I were there with a colleague, B, and the lovely J and we got pretty darn drunk and one thing lead to another and we declared our "like" for each other and a beautiful** relationship was born. I hadn't really thought of it that way until the Man said that and I almost choked on my delicious Hendrick's gin and proseco cocktail***. I was surprised that he would come up with so sentimental a thought but there it is. I drank that last drink to the relationship-propelling power of delicious specialty cocktails****. Thanks for the memories, Gargoyles.

After dinner we watched Zodiac, which neither of us had either seen. I fully expected one or both of us to fall asleep, but it was really good! I'm not really giving anything away to say that at a certain point in the movie, the killer indicates that he might take out a bus of school children, and the next day as Jake Gylenhaal's character is putting his son on the bus, he kind of freaks and decides to drive him to school instead. At that moment I was reminded very clearly of when I had just moved to Boston, and there was an accident in a tunnel near the airport***** where a woman was killed in her car. It was national news and my parents called me, worried to death that I was the woman in the accident. I thought they were so crazy since I am just one person in a whole city and why would they think it was me? But for some reason watching the scene with that character and his son made me understand completely. Is that weird? I guess you never stop being a parent who worries about your kid. Even if your kid is 29 years old.

*It actually closed last week but then it opened again for one post-closing-final hurrah, Wed-Sat.
**It's beautiful now. In the beginning it was more secretive and clumsy...
***It's called a Backyard and it also has St. Germain and muddled cucumber. YUM!
****So yes, I am now drinking to drinks.
****It was a Big-Dig related accident where a concrete ceiling piece fell on a woman's car. Terrible.

Two quick things about yoga

2011-09-28T08:41:00.001-04:00

I like going to Baptiste power yoga in Cambridge*. I enjoy being in a fairly full class where there are people of all different skill levels but they are all deeply COMMITTED to yoga. In the beginning (and frequently the end) of class, the instructor will lead us in a round of three OMs. I love this part. Sitting in a group, letting the sound of all those voices hovering around the same tone fill my ears, drilling down my focus so that nothing else matters except that I am there to do some effing yoga: it makes me feel like I'm part of a hive.

After class last night J and I went to my place and we ate soup and grilled cheese sandwiches; we even danced around a little. I was showing her this standing split pose that I'd rocked in Monday after-work yoga and as I was doing it she said:

Why are you doing more yoga? Stop! We just did so much yoga.

I was thinking:

SO???

And then I promptly fell on my head on the kitchen floor. Luckily, it barely hurt and we were mostly laughing. But she did tell me that I should instruct the Man to wake me up every hour so that we could be sure I hadn't been concussed. It wasn't necessary; all was well. Well, except that I'm an idiot...

*I like the yoga, what I do not like is the small faction of people who make serious sex noises when they breathe. Several times during the practice, the instructor will direct us to take a giant breath out (sometimes they'll suggest you sigh) to let go of any tension and these people take the opportunity to let their inner porn star out. If you're one of these people, please stop. You're wrecking it.

Pickled

2011-09-27T08:30:00.001-04:00

That's all I have to say about the pickled carrots I made this weekend.

Futurama and Adventureland

2011-09-26T08:34:00.001-04:00

There are two things that I like so much and I can't get over about Futurama, which I have just started watching on Netflix as I'm getting ready in the morning:

1. Characters frequently say: "we're pretty much boned." Simple and straightforward. Also, hilarious.

2. Dr. Zoidberg, the lobster dude, refers to Bender as a robot, but he doesn't pronounce it RO-BOT like everyone does, he pronounces it RO-but. Every time I crack up.

Holy crap you guys have you seen the movie Adventureland? It's so so very good and sad and sweet and real-ish. I have loved several teenage-y movies (Juno, Clueless, Dazed and Confused, Empire Records) but at no time have I ever felt an actual kinship with the characters or been sucked into the reality of the plot. Adventureland made me remember quite acutely what it was like to be late-teens/early-twenties and all of the cruddy stuff that happens relationship-wise. Even the Man was affected by it (and I have rarely seen that happen). I highly suggest watching it.
Jesse Eisenberg is a surprisingly good man-boy (I don't find him attractive but I am put into a near trance by his jaw-line and cheek bones) and Kristen Stewart is wonderfully vulnerable and real. Ryan Reynolds has never been less attractive or more spot on. Oh! Oh it was good! If you've ever felt the angsty-angst of being unloved, or loved, or used, or embarrassed, or punched in the face, you'll probably really like this movie.

In other news, the Man spent a good amount of time fixing up the laundry area and then I flooded the basement when I didn't notice that the washer was leaking. I am a rock star. I also got tipsy at lunch with M and then went home* and brought up marriage and life-goals. You know you wish I was your girlfriend!

*But hey! I also brought the Man a delicious Italian sandwich he could eat while I talked about the future, so it wasn't all bad**. I am a passable girlfriend.
**The conversation was fine and the Man was kind of even the one to bring it up because he could tell I was thinking about it***. Because apparently I get glassy eyed and look into the distance and smirk****.
***Because we know each other now! It's been three months of living together - what else could we possibly have to learn?? You know?
****Or that could be the two mimosas I had with lunch.

Food

2011-09-26T08:19:00.000-04:00

I slaughtered some things over the weekend.

One of those things was a bunch of beets. I think beets taste too strong and I don't love them but I know how they're super good for you so I roast them and slather them in goat cheese and then they're ok.

I also pickled a bunch of stuff. No cucumbers, though because I didn't have any.

I added more salt than the recipe called for. Because I have met me and I understand my needs.

I needs salt.

Some things on a Friday

2011-09-23T08:27:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a dream that I was going to marry Peter Dinklage. Is that guy super-charming in everyone's dreams, or just mine?

I used to think that movies that ended with a twist (or a fake-out) ending like The Sixth Sense or Inception were very cool and inventive, but now I feel like it's been done so many times that it's just an easy way out when a writer doesn't want to actually think of and write an ending. (I still think The Sixth Sense and Inception are cool, but lots of other movies just use that sort of ending as a crutch, in my opinion.)

I can no longer stand the nice, polite youngsters on every street corner in Central, Davis and Harvard Squares asking me if I have a minute to stop violence against women or whatever. Yesterday I left the doctor's office and I really just wanted to go home and one of these sweet young things asked
Excuse me! Do you have a minute to stop violence against women?
to which I replied
No. I don't.
What I wanted to say (but it would have made me linger longer than I wanted) was
I spent all of my minutes trying to feed the hungry children and rebuild Japan and support rights for gays and end Aids and also Cancer. Because these are some of the charities I've given to this year. Not that I think I'm better than other people because plenty of people give more of their time and money than I do. But still. My money is mine because I earned it and I can do with it as I please, of course. In general I don't like talking to strangers and I don't like being forced to talk to them on the street and though I completely understand why they do it I do not like the emotional terrorism of giving you only two choices: either be a hero who has a moment to stop violence against women or admit that you do NOT have a moment to spend on the poor women who are victims of violence. Of course all of these causes are good. But come on, it's not feasible for me to give money to every one of these charities and I cannot tell from one 3-minute conversation if the charity is legitimate, or how much money goes to the actual people who need it. I realize that many of the charities that do this ARE legitimate, and need money and need to reach people to spread the word, but I'm conflicted because I hate this method. BOO to me, I guess.

I am supremely happy that it is Friday. I've had not the best week and a half at work and now more than usual I'd like to be in the safe confines of my home with my cats and my Man and my movies. And my WINE.

I went to the lady-doctor yesterday and she has this habit of asking me all kinds of mildly-personal questions and then writing down the answers and then bringing them up again the next year. She is extremely nice and seems very competent and has lots of teaching- and work-related awards in her office, so I don't think it's weird. I think she just genuinely wants ladies to feel like they're been paid appropriate attention. She seems to really want me to get married and have the babies. Which is nice. I also want the married part and probably also that other thing. When's that going to happen?

I frequently wish the Universe would get off it's butt and give me some clues about my life, my future, stuff I could be doing better. I suspect that's not the way things work, but it's fun to fantasize right? The other day when I was at a marathon brunch with D he asked if I would rather be clairvoyant or have the power of invisibility. I chose invisibility because it seemed less like cheating and more passive. But now I'm wishing I didn't have to choose.

This has gotten weird. Enjoy your weekends, all.