Embarrassing admission, 1 in a series

I own a copy of the Armageddon DVD.

I cry at the end EVERY TIME.

Ugh, I KNOW.

Anyway, now that that's behind us... It was a good weekend. I bought a juicer, and juiced some shit. I went with my man to get one and this was our conversation:

Me: I'm going to start juicing.

Him: Like, steroids?

He is ri-goddamned-diculously cute, that guy. That night we had some carrot/celery/apple/orange juice.

Scalded:

Dear Jerks lingering at the top of the stairs so that I can barely get by and end up splashing hot coffee on my arm while trying, and you don't move AT ALL as if I am invisible:

You suck. Your family sucks. You have something in your teeth. There is no Santa Claus. I replaced your birth control with tic-tacs. Your mothers don't love you. And, there's dog poo on your shoe.

See you in hell!
L

This is my 100th blog as "Yum"

Huzzah!

I’m not sure if it’s possible to walk down a city street in the summer listening to Stevie Wonder’s Superstition and NOT feel like a total BADASS.

After a delightful bbq lunch at The Blue Room in Kendall Square, and then a micro sundae at Toscanini’s, I have decided that Boston’s new* slogan should be:

Fuck yeah we’re expensive, but have you had the food?


There is simply so much quality food to choose from. There are literally (ok, not literally) eleventy-zillion restaurants to choose from for every possible food type and ethnicity an price.

*Note: I have no idea what Boston’s current slogan is. **
**Just looked it up. Boston is “The Walking City” ***
***This slogan is not as good as my suggestion. Just sayin’.

Food: cooked, frozen, and raw

Last night the man came over for dinner and I made:

seared duck breast
crispy latkes
green beans

and for dessert:
homemade vanilla ice cream with fresh blueberries

It was heaven.

*****
On a way less indulgent note, I think I'm going to do a raw-food diet cleanse. I'm hoping that it will do what it's supposed to: get rid of some toxins and give me a little boost of energy. I'll do it for a week, and hopefully, I'll discover a few delicious and healthy things that I want to have all the time (apple-parsley smoothies, anyone?). Instead of Fritos all the time, I mean.

Anywho, I'm sure I'll report on how that goes. I've heard a few different people talking about it lately - specifically people who do a lot of yoga, who said it improved their performance. They also said they were really energetic, while needing far less sleep (and that their sleep was deeper and more restful). That is something I'd really like.

Some things I can't do

-Leave the kitchen if a cabinet door or a drawer is open

-A pull-up

-Not smile when I see a pug or a baby

-Shut the fuck up sometimes

-Vacuum more than once every couple of weeks

-Spell "purchasing" right the first time, despite the fact that I am a Purchasing Manager (duh)

-Leave scabs/zits/hangnails/etc alone

-Pass up homemade cookies

-Let it go

My favorite poem

From poetryx

My Love by e e cummings

my love
thy hair is one kingdom
the king whereof is darkness
thy forehead is a flight of flowers

thy head is a quick forest
filled with sleeping birds
thy breasts are swarms of white bees
upon the bough of thy body
thy body to me is April
in whose armpits is the approach of spring

thy thighs are white horses yoked to a chariot
of kings
they are the striking of a good minstrel
between them is always a pleasant song

my love
thy head is a casket
of the cool jewel of thy mind
the hair of thy head is one warrior
innocent of defeat
thy hair upon thy shoulders is an army
with victory and with trumpets

thy legs are the trees of dreaming
whose fruit is the very eatage of forgetfulness

thy lips are satraps in scarlet
in whose kiss is the combinings of kings
thy wrists
are holy
which are the keepers of the keys of thy blood
thy feet upon thy ankles are flowers in vases
of silver

in thy beauty is the dilemma of flutes

thy eyes are the betrayal
of bells comprehended through incense

The real thing

This is the Somerville Theater. This is where I will be performing in the mock-radio drama based on The War of the Worlds Orson Welles broadcast. This is where IT WILL ROCK.

Did I mention that U2 played here earlier this year? No? Well they did. The Somerville Theater, motherfuckers!

This just in: people smoke crack. Glorious crack.

So, JUST NOW I'm sitting at my desk, where I am still sitting to type this, and a guy I work with, who I ran into last Friday (we had both taken the day off - for separate reasons, as we live separate lives) at the Ball Square Cafe (yum) said something amazing to me. He said, that when he and his lovely wife* ran into me and my lovely (but still manly/burly) man, his wife immediately told him she thought I looked like Milla Jovovich.

BlinkBlink

Yes, THAT Milla Jovovich. The one up there. I SWEAR I am not lying.

I just had to tell you, people of the internet. I had to tell you right away, because if I trip down the stairs and die** on my way out of this building, I want as many people as possible to know that someone thinks I look like Milla Jovovich.



*Yes, she has eyes.

**Please also, put this compliment on my grave. Actually, I'd like to be cremated, so could you put it on my urn? KThanks.

Underused

Phrases that I just don't hear enough in everyday conversation:


"I was young, and I needed the money."

"Fight to the death!"

"And then... I ripped his lungs out."

"L is SO pretty." (ok, now I'm just being greedy...)

Wine and cheese and dip and margaritas

FIRST: The show went great. The whole run was successful, and I'm sorry(but happy) it's over. I'm REALLY looking forward to being somehow involved in War of the Worlds, which is the Halloween show, and will be performed in the Somerville Theater (where U2 did a surprise performance a few months ago).

SECOND: Having girlfriends with whom you can have "Wine Club" where you learn very little about wine other than how much you can drink is pretty awesome. Our friend I is moving to the Cape in a few weeks and she hosted her last Somerville Wine Club last week. It rocked, of course. She wanted to "clean up" her freezer and liquor cabinet, so that meany lots of spinach dip (yum) and margaritas. So, I guess that's double-yum.
But, of course, there's a danger in getting all liquored up and girly. That danger is that when you stumble to your boyfriend's place afterwards, you end up starting a conversation yelling:
"SO JUST AS A REMINDER, I WANT TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE A BABY!"

Ugh. Really?

Yes, REALLY.

I am so awesome sometimes it hurts.
Luckily, because my man understands that I have wants and needs and sometimes those wants and needs mix with alcohol to form a screamy/demanding/aggressive freak, he just calmly addressed the topic and reassured me that there are plenty of Chinese baby girls who needed good homes and... wait. That's not what he said. He reassured me that we were doing great. And that's fair. The SECOND best* thing a girl can hear in that situation is "we're doing great". I can easily translate that into "baby, just give it a few months..."

*The FIRST best thing is: "Wait, you want to get married and have a baby? Why didn't you say so!? How's this Friday at 2pm?"

Anyway, I really should be preparing for the auditions, tidying up the cat-hair-tumbleweed, and attending the nectarine sorbet I've got going.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Later peeps. I hope that all your loose ends get tied up, and all your babies get born :) You know who you are...

Things I thought while lying awake in bed in the middle of the night earlier this week:

KILL the CAT.

Did I take out any bacon to defrost?

Remember to tell D at work about the file that has the info about the contract that we were......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Kill the OTHER cat.

I'm pretty sure my black pants are in the laundry bag. No, that was that other pair. No, it was the pair I planned to wear tomorrow. (get up to check, find pants in laundry bag)

Need to get more iron. Bruising like a peach.

Maybe I can still wear the pants if I rescue them from the laundry NOW..?

Maybe M would like to plan a long weekend to DC in the fall. Oh, that would be so nice. Fewer tourists... pretty decent weather... no one trying to extinguish the eternal flame at the Holocaust Museum.

If I slowly poison that cat, will anyone know? (besides you all, now)

I wish I had some water (lean over M to get water, M keeps snoring)

Awesome. Now I have to pee.

If I pee on the cat, will he absorb it? (just kidding, I didn't really think that!)

What time is it?

What time is it now?

What time is it NOW? Oh, so, 20 more minutes.

UGH. I'll never sleep again...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. (*cue alarm)