It's the last day of the year, and I'm busy at work, and I wanted to do some cool 2009 wrap-up post, but there is simply too much. So, I will say that I've had a lot of warmth and love in 2009 and for that, I am supremely grateful. I'm also quite happy that I will (I hope) be leaving the office today at around 2:30 so that I can pick up my man and head to Fairfield, CT to see my friends the Ryan Montbleau Band. They make such terrific music that you can't help but dance and smile and sing to. I'm very excited to throw on a pretty dress and spend New Year's Eve this way. I hope that at midnight, everyone is with someone(s) they love.
LOVE!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
MassHole
Leslie: You know what's great about the traffic in Boston?
Mom: Nothing?
Les: You'd think... but if there's a silver lining, it's that you can talk, text, and take self-portraits with no fear that you'll have an accident. Because most of the time? You're just NOT MOVING.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Clang clang clang went the trolley...
So, I know how boring it can be to hear people describe their dreams. They don't make any sense when people retell them because they didn't make any sense to begin with. "And then we went to my room, but it wasn't really my room, but it WAS! And then that guy put my shoes on his hands, and we ended world hunger, and it was BEAUTIFUL!"
But dude, I had some weird dreams last night. Before I went to bed I was thinking of putting a post together about why I blog, but that will have to wait, because duuuuuude:
(I'll try to be brief)
I was walking quickly through a neighborhood on my way home. There were dangerous people around, on my 6, but I couldn't see them, and I was only ever a step or two ahead. I crossed someone's lawn. That someone had a ridiculously beautiful dog who looked a lot like my childhood dog (Sarge! We miss you!) but was as soft as velour on ecstasy. I petted him, despite the murderous monsters chasing me. Then the owner of the house came out, grabbed me and dragged me inside. It was Nora Dunn. Like from Saturday Night Live. Um, yeah. She told me that most of the people that I thought I knew, were really spies working against me. No one could be trusted. No one was who I thought they were. Animals were robots. UP IS DOWN! BLACK IS WHITE! Anyway, she said I had to deliver her (supersoft) dog to another spy. I took the dog and followed her directions and they lead me to... wait for it... Melanie Griffith's house. Ugh! I HATE her! What the hell? When she opened the door I handed her the dog's leash and stepped on her foot. The end. AND THE WORLD WAS SAVED BECAUSE I DELIVERED THE ROBOT-DOG TO DON JOHNSON'S EX-WIFE.
I immediately regret forcing you through that. Please don't hold it against me.
Wonderland: I got M a cashmere sweater, dress shirt, bamboo socks, an awesome old-timey book called: The Boy's Book: How to be the Best at Everything, and some cedar blocks to keep his clothes protected. Not that he has to worry about protection, what with the dog being delivered and all...
But dude, I had some weird dreams last night. Before I went to bed I was thinking of putting a post together about why I blog, but that will have to wait, because duuuuuude:
(I'll try to be brief)
I was walking quickly through a neighborhood on my way home. There were dangerous people around, on my 6, but I couldn't see them, and I was only ever a step or two ahead. I crossed someone's lawn. That someone had a ridiculously beautiful dog who looked a lot like my childhood dog (Sarge! We miss you!) but was as soft as velour on ecstasy. I petted him, despite the murderous monsters chasing me. Then the owner of the house came out, grabbed me and dragged me inside. It was Nora Dunn. Like from Saturday Night Live. Um, yeah. She told me that most of the people that I thought I knew, were really spies working against me. No one could be trusted. No one was who I thought they were. Animals were robots. UP IS DOWN! BLACK IS WHITE! Anyway, she said I had to deliver her (supersoft) dog to another spy. I took the dog and followed her directions and they lead me to... wait for it... Melanie Griffith's house. Ugh! I HATE her! What the hell? When she opened the door I handed her the dog's leash and stepped on her foot. The end. AND THE WORLD WAS SAVED BECAUSE I DELIVERED THE ROBOT-DOG TO DON JOHNSON'S EX-WIFE.
I immediately regret forcing you through that. Please don't hold it against me.
Wonderland: I got M a cashmere sweater, dress shirt, bamboo socks, an awesome old-timey book called: The Boy's Book: How to be the Best at Everything, and some cedar blocks to keep his clothes protected. Not that he has to worry about protection, what with the dog being delivered and all...
Monday, December 28, 2009
Post Christmas Post
New cute shoes purchased at 60% off + strategically placed bandaids = pretty good :)
I had a very nice, very relaxing holiday. Ahhhhhhhhhh.
Last Tuesday was the day that the man and I did dinner and presents. We went to Gargoyle's in Davis Sq for a delicious burger (him) and a superb braised brisket sandwich (me). And, of course, yummy drinks. Then back to my place for GIFTS! We both made out well and had a lovely evening. One of the things the man got me was a so-called "stimulus package", which included Red Bulls and catnip. Adorable!
Wednesday I had an early (!) but uneventful trip to my parents' house, where I was immediately provided with food and drinks, as is the fashion in my family. So. Many. Whiskey Sours.
The holiday itself was relaxing and fun, with much laughing and quoting of the movies of my youth. Something I notice EVERY time I'm with my family, that I forget in the meantime and then discover anew is how much we all revert back into the same roles. My parents think that I am a naive child, my brother and I fight like middle-schoolers, my brother hides in his room/cave. Every time!
In any case, the time went by quickly, and I think a good time was had by all. My man was kind enough to pick me up from the airport on Saturday, and we ordered in some sushi and watched Body of Lies. Holy hell, am I glad that I don't live in the Middle East. Even if you're not involved in any conflict, you are. I have a great deal of pity for people who just want to live and take care of their families, but have to navigate through the political wars of their governments. They have no say in what happens, but still they live in fear for their safety. Gah!
Oh yeah, the weekend! Yesterday I ran some errands, made some food, and saw my friend (who was in town from Austin) play at the Burren. I managed to stay out past 10pm without falling over, but I was VERY happy to get to bed and snuggle as an end to the days off I had.
Here's to another short week!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Obi Wan Catnobi
This is not the cat you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along, move along.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Text-versation
Text exchange between my brother, J, and me just now:
J: OH! Annabeth Gish is so wonderful in Mystery, Alaska. She's beautiful.
Me: Don't you mean Mystic Pizza, not Mystery, Alaska?
J: No. Alaska
Me: Who was she in that?
J: Russell Crowe's wife.
Me: That was Mary McCormack, Penisface.
J: Fuck... dear Mary McCormack...
I love my bro.
J: OH! Annabeth Gish is so wonderful in Mystery, Alaska. She's beautiful.
Me: Don't you mean Mystic Pizza, not Mystery, Alaska?
J: No. Alaska
Me: Who was she in that?
J: Russell Crowe's wife.
Me: That was Mary McCormack, Penisface.
J: Fuck... dear Mary McCormack...
I love my bro.
Minus
It is -6 with the windchill today. That is actually warmer than yesterday!
This picture is the view from my kitchen, which is seriously obscured by a case of the icies...
Last night I went out with some fine ladies and heard some great music at Toad. I went home tired and satisfied*. Since the man was already snug in his bed and didn't relish the thought of getting dressed to GO! OUTSIDE! and come over for...sleep, I went to his place. His place which is pretty steadily kept at 55 degrees. OMFG people there was very little difference between being outside on his porch and being inside in his kitchen :(
As I came in he told me: "I turned the heat up! It's at 60 now!". Really? I couldn't tell... Eventually he was kind enough to turn it up to 65 degrees, and when I disrobed I put my clothes under the blankets so that they wouldn't be frozen together when I got dressed this morning.
This afternoon/evening is our office holiday party. There will be wine! and beer! and a mashed potato bar where potatoes are served in martini glasses and you can put all kinds of toppings on them and I'm pretty sure that sounds like the best part to me. I mean, I LOVE beer and wine, but cheese and bacon aren't too shabby. Especially when served up like a delicious savory potato-tini. Yum yum. Happy Friday. Stay warm.
*By satisfied I don't actually mean drunk! For once! But have you had this new tea-flavored vodka? It's the TITS, people. It makes the PERFECT Arnold Palmer!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Intentions
Last year at Christmas time, my man and I were... not doing well. After the fact he said something about wishing he'd gotten me something and my reply was: "We are SO NOT there yet".
This year, in an attempt to make things easy, and given the terrible economy, and the unemployment we've both been through, and in reaction to all the stuff we already have, and and and and AND... I suggested that we just DO something instead (dinner? a show?). He agreed. It sounded reasonable enough.
The other day he said his mom reprimanded him for not getting me a present. He said he didn't want to be a scrooge. He said if I really didn't want us to get each other presents that was fine, but he wanted to get me something. So, now we're getting each other gifts. At the last minute. Which is FINE. Because I love giving, and also getting, gifts. But. These conversations uncovered kind of an ugly truth that I constantly try to bury. Let me explain.
I suggested we not get each other gifts partly because that's what I really wanted - because we both already have lots of stuff, and because usually, if I want something enough, I just buy it (within reason). But... I also suggested it because I wanted to avoid the stress involved in buying something for someone when you have NO IDEA what to get. And, I am constantly trying to prove how cool and low-maintenance I am. Because that will make my man realize how much he wants to be with me because I am awesome and easy to be with. All benefits, me. Ugh. I didn't realize this is what I was doing (even though I'm kind of always doing it) and it kind of smacked me in the face when we were talking about it. I try to make myself seem like I have NO NEEDS. Like I tend to others but am COMPLETELY self-sufficient. But I'm not. I want attention, and pretty things, and to be told that I'm loved and wanted. I want someone to occasionally take care of me. AND! I know that people want to give that to me. They say so! My man said so when he explicitly said: "I want you to be happy, so I want to do what you want to do". And yet, I take that not for the lovely sentiment it is, but for indifference - as if I'm bullying him into it.
I've been stressing about this a lot lately. For no good reason beyond I simply MUST have something to worry about. Why can't I just take the love and be happy with it? Why do I have to twist it into something different, something less pure? Grr. It's a maddening thing that I am trying to work on. I think the first step is to stop being afraid that people will stop loving me if they find out I'm NOT my facade (newsflash to self: many people already know this!). Do I really expect my man to forget everything we've been through because I'm sad for no particular reason? Or if I can't do everything myself all the time?
Anyway, I'll let you know how that goes.
In the meantime, can you buy me a cupcake, and then hold me and tell me how sweet I am? Thanks.
EDITED TO ADD: I am a Rambling Rambler. Sorry... Just emptying some of the contents of my brain before it 'splodes.
This year, in an attempt to make things easy, and given the terrible economy, and the unemployment we've both been through, and in reaction to all the stuff we already have, and and and and AND... I suggested that we just DO something instead (dinner? a show?). He agreed. It sounded reasonable enough.
The other day he said his mom reprimanded him for not getting me a present. He said he didn't want to be a scrooge. He said if I really didn't want us to get each other presents that was fine, but he wanted to get me something. So, now we're getting each other gifts. At the last minute. Which is FINE. Because I love giving, and also getting, gifts. But. These conversations uncovered kind of an ugly truth that I constantly try to bury. Let me explain.
I suggested we not get each other gifts partly because that's what I really wanted - because we both already have lots of stuff, and because usually, if I want something enough, I just buy it (within reason). But... I also suggested it because I wanted to avoid the stress involved in buying something for someone when you have NO IDEA what to get. And, I am constantly trying to prove how cool and low-maintenance I am. Because that will make my man realize how much he wants to be with me because I am awesome and easy to be with. All benefits, me. Ugh. I didn't realize this is what I was doing (even though I'm kind of always doing it) and it kind of smacked me in the face when we were talking about it. I try to make myself seem like I have NO NEEDS. Like I tend to others but am COMPLETELY self-sufficient. But I'm not. I want attention, and pretty things, and to be told that I'm loved and wanted. I want someone to occasionally take care of me. AND! I know that people want to give that to me. They say so! My man said so when he explicitly said: "I want you to be happy, so I want to do what you want to do". And yet, I take that not for the lovely sentiment it is, but for indifference - as if I'm bullying him into it.
I've been stressing about this a lot lately. For no good reason beyond I simply MUST have something to worry about. Why can't I just take the love and be happy with it? Why do I have to twist it into something different, something less pure? Grr. It's a maddening thing that I am trying to work on. I think the first step is to stop being afraid that people will stop loving me if they find out I'm NOT my facade (newsflash to self: many people already know this!). Do I really expect my man to forget everything we've been through because I'm sad for no particular reason? Or if I can't do everything myself all the time?
Anyway, I'll let you know how that goes.
In the meantime, can you buy me a cupcake, and then hold me and tell me how sweet I am? Thanks.
EDITED TO ADD: I am a Rambling Rambler. Sorry... Just emptying some of the contents of my brain before it 'splodes.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Ass-bustingly awesome
Yeah. So, I've gotten this out of the way...
This is my knee*. I descended my man's porch steps yesterday and as I made the last step from the porch to the sidewalk, my foot just never took hold and my legs splayed out like fucking Bambi and I went DOWN. Downtown. To Chinatown (if you understand Chinatown to be a land of pain rather than a land of delicious chicken egg foo young...).
I REALLY should have just treated myself to a doughnut after this. Seriously, just LOOKING at that bruise hurts (PLEASE STOP LOOKING AT IT, INTERNET!).
*You can't really tell, but I was TOTALLY naked when I took that picture. RAWR!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Year End Meme
This is stolen from Sweetney, from her 2008-to-2009 post.
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Went on unemployment, painted a room orange, visited the Museum of Science
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't really make New Year's resolutions beyond just trying to be better at everything. So, Am I better? Not measurably... I'll try again in 2010.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, Scarlet Lily.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Some wonderful people in my mom's family died. We weren't close, but it was still quite sad.
5. What countries did you visit?
Ugh, I didn't leave the country. I shall have to remedy that next year.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Patience with myself, others, and the speed/pace of my life. I am always looking to the next step, the next chapter. There are times when this is really helpful; generally, it's a pain in the ass and it prevents me from sitting back and just enjoying life as it happens.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
01/12/09 - I was laid off
06/22/09 - Officially hired to my new job
10/29/09 - Performed in The Somerville Theater
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I don't know. Pulling through the first six months felt pretty big. Sad that I don't have anything besides just "pulling through".
9. What was your biggest failure?
This is hard. I didn't have any huge FAIL! moments. There are plenty of times, however, that I wish I'd done or said something differently. Supported someone a little more, spoke up, shut up, etc.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. Not beyond all of the usual bumps and scrapes. And my newly discovered incredibly sensitive teeth.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Um, new necklace from Tiffany & Co.?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Off the top of my head I can't really think of any specific individual. Can I just give a shout-out to everyone who went out of his/her way to help someone else? Everyone who showed humanity in a world where many of our connections are becoming more tenuous? Even if it's a little cheesy? HA! This actually made me think of someone! The person whose behavior merited celebration is my friend A's fiancé J.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Politicians. Both sides.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Food and entertainment, I think. And I'm not even sad about it. I love food and movies and music and togetherness.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
See the answer to #14.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Wow. I just don't have those associations with any new song, and all of the old songs remind me of all kinds of other times... 2009 just wasn't that kind of year.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Happier
b) thinner or fatter?
About the same
c) richer or poorer?
Richer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Erm... everything? Reading, mostly.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Comparing my life to the life I think I should have
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Hasn't happened yet, but with my brother and parents in Atlanta, watching movies and drinking wine.
21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Ha. Um, not with anything new. Just the same old stuff I've always loved. But it's nice, right? To have NEW reasons to love the same old things?
22. What was your favorite TV program?
It's a tie between Lost and Dexter - if I have to choose current shows. If not, then it's probably Arrested Development.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. I'm not one of those people who claims to not hate. But I can't think of anyone new... I do try to NOT waste energy on actively hating people.
24. What was the best book you read?
I've read pitifully few books this year, and I'm not sure any of them could even be thought of as the "best" of anything. Maybe Eat, Pray, Love? Most of the books I read were darker in tone, because for the first 6 months I felt dark and bleak. This book was actually a comfort.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Modest Mouse.
26. What did you want and get?
My own apartment, an ice cream maker, a job, lots of Proseco
27. What did you want and not get?
I don't need to talk about it, as it will make me sound like a greedy fucking princess who just wants another pony...
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hmm. Star Trek? I really didn't see a lot of new movies. I really liked Gran Torino and UP, too.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was taken out to dinner by a few different peeps. And lunch. And music. I turned thirty-tubular.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
God, really? Ok. But, again, this will smack of extreme ungratefulness... You know what? I just can't. Sorry.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Cold-aversion in winter, flip-flop-embracing in summer? Generally, I shoot for "flattering and classic". I hope I hit that most of the time.
32. What kept you sane?
Friends. Theatre.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jon Stewart?
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health care.
35. Who did you miss?
Duh, everyone far away.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Hmm. Probably a pretty little hippie chick named M. I don't think I met many people this year...
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
This is interesting. I was actually going to write a whole post just on this. I was at a yoga class in February or March, in a particularly muscle-burny position, and the instructor said something that has stuck with me, and that I've thought of MANY many times since. She said:
"I know this is uncomfortable, but instead of fighting it, breathe into the pain. Because you know it will end."
Wow. Yes, that rang completely true. My natural instinct is to shrink from pain, or cover it up, not to breathe into it. Not to accept it, look at it for what it is: uncomfortable but temporary.
I sometimes feel like I'm not doing my job if I'm not worrying about something. Usually it's the same stuff over and over again. But it is, all of it, temporary. I need to learn to just let some of it go. Though I can recognize the wisdom in not worrying about the things you can't change, I need to try to LIVE it, too...
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. (Well, here's the whole song...)
I listen to the wind
to the wind of my soul
Where I'll end up well I think,
only God really knows
I've sat upon the setting sun
But never, never never never
I never wanted water once
No, never, never, never
I listen to my words but
they fall far below
I let my music take me where
my heart wants to go
I swam upon the devil's lake
But never, never never never
I'll never make the same mistake
No, never, never, never
-The Wind, Cat Stevens
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Went on unemployment, painted a room orange, visited the Museum of Science
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't really make New Year's resolutions beyond just trying to be better at everything. So, Am I better? Not measurably... I'll try again in 2010.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, Scarlet Lily.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Some wonderful people in my mom's family died. We weren't close, but it was still quite sad.
5. What countries did you visit?
Ugh, I didn't leave the country. I shall have to remedy that next year.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Patience with myself, others, and the speed/pace of my life. I am always looking to the next step, the next chapter. There are times when this is really helpful; generally, it's a pain in the ass and it prevents me from sitting back and just enjoying life as it happens.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
01/12/09 - I was laid off
06/22/09 - Officially hired to my new job
10/29/09 - Performed in The Somerville Theater
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I don't know. Pulling through the first six months felt pretty big. Sad that I don't have anything besides just "pulling through".
9. What was your biggest failure?
This is hard. I didn't have any huge FAIL! moments. There are plenty of times, however, that I wish I'd done or said something differently. Supported someone a little more, spoke up, shut up, etc.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. Not beyond all of the usual bumps and scrapes. And my newly discovered incredibly sensitive teeth.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Um, new necklace from Tiffany & Co.?
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Off the top of my head I can't really think of any specific individual. Can I just give a shout-out to everyone who went out of his/her way to help someone else? Everyone who showed humanity in a world where many of our connections are becoming more tenuous? Even if it's a little cheesy? HA! This actually made me think of someone! The person whose behavior merited celebration is my friend A's fiancé J.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Politicians. Both sides.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Food and entertainment, I think. And I'm not even sad about it. I love food and movies and music and togetherness.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
See the answer to #14.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Wow. I just don't have those associations with any new song, and all of the old songs remind me of all kinds of other times... 2009 just wasn't that kind of year.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Happier
b) thinner or fatter?
About the same
c) richer or poorer?
Richer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Erm... everything? Reading, mostly.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Comparing my life to the life I think I should have
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Hasn't happened yet, but with my brother and parents in Atlanta, watching movies and drinking wine.
21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Ha. Um, not with anything new. Just the same old stuff I've always loved. But it's nice, right? To have NEW reasons to love the same old things?
22. What was your favorite TV program?
It's a tie between Lost and Dexter - if I have to choose current shows. If not, then it's probably Arrested Development.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. I'm not one of those people who claims to not hate. But I can't think of anyone new... I do try to NOT waste energy on actively hating people.
24. What was the best book you read?
I've read pitifully few books this year, and I'm not sure any of them could even be thought of as the "best" of anything. Maybe Eat, Pray, Love? Most of the books I read were darker in tone, because for the first 6 months I felt dark and bleak. This book was actually a comfort.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Modest Mouse.
26. What did you want and get?
My own apartment, an ice cream maker, a job, lots of Proseco
27. What did you want and not get?
I don't need to talk about it, as it will make me sound like a greedy fucking princess who just wants another pony...
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hmm. Star Trek? I really didn't see a lot of new movies. I really liked Gran Torino and UP, too.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was taken out to dinner by a few different peeps. And lunch. And music. I turned thirty-tubular.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
God, really? Ok. But, again, this will smack of extreme ungratefulness... You know what? I just can't. Sorry.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Cold-aversion in winter, flip-flop-embracing in summer? Generally, I shoot for "flattering and classic". I hope I hit that most of the time.
32. What kept you sane?
Friends. Theatre.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jon Stewart?
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health care.
35. Who did you miss?
Duh, everyone far away.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Hmm. Probably a pretty little hippie chick named M. I don't think I met many people this year...
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
This is interesting. I was actually going to write a whole post just on this. I was at a yoga class in February or March, in a particularly muscle-burny position, and the instructor said something that has stuck with me, and that I've thought of MANY many times since. She said:
"I know this is uncomfortable, but instead of fighting it, breathe into the pain. Because you know it will end."
Wow. Yes, that rang completely true. My natural instinct is to shrink from pain, or cover it up, not to breathe into it. Not to accept it, look at it for what it is: uncomfortable but temporary.
I sometimes feel like I'm not doing my job if I'm not worrying about something. Usually it's the same stuff over and over again. But it is, all of it, temporary. I need to learn to just let some of it go. Though I can recognize the wisdom in not worrying about the things you can't change, I need to try to LIVE it, too...
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. (Well, here's the whole song...)
I listen to the wind
to the wind of my soul
Where I'll end up well I think,
only God really knows
I've sat upon the setting sun
But never, never never never
I never wanted water once
No, never, never, never
I listen to my words but
they fall far below
I let my music take me where
my heart wants to go
I swam upon the devil's lake
But never, never never never
I'll never make the same mistake
No, never, never, never
-The Wind, Cat Stevens
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Super Fabulous Cashmere-Covered Salt-n-Pepa Dr. Monkey
I had a good weekend. Oh. Yes.
Last Tuesday (if I may just back it up a bit), I picked up Dr. Monkey at the airport. Late. Snow in Minneapolis had caused a two hour + delay and his flight didn’t land at Logan until after 1am. We wearily made it to my apartment, where I deposited him, then I sneaked into my boyfriend’s house and curled up with him. The next morning brought the WORST weather ever. This isn’t usually a big deal as I have a Jeep and even the Barbie-Jeep can get around fine in crappy weather. I, however, had promised to lend my car to the good Dr. so that he could visit Rhode Island and old friends until Friday. The walks to the T from my place and then to work from the T were bad. Cold, slushy, and harrowing (so much slush and ice!).
Ugh. The Dr.’s visit was greatly improved when he returned Friday morning. We went into Bahston to run some very expensive errands, including a trip to Shreve, Crump & Lowe for his mom, a trip to Tiffany’s for me (purchased with my own money, I’ll have NO sugar-daddies…), and a trip to Neiman Marcus for him that was… Well, it was just WHOA. It yielded the softest Burberry scarf in existence. After we’d shopped ourselves silly, we went to the top of the hub for drinks and lunch. He had the ultimate martini (with TOMOLIVES, which are amazing olived-mini-tomatoes) and the salmon, and I had fruity chick drinks and the duck. Yum! We were rather tipsy by the time we departed, which was after 2:30. The wind almost knocked us down on many occasions, but the walk home under the influence of expensive cocktails and cashmere was much more pleasant.
Friday night we went to a little gallery in Inman Square to see the outcome of the pin-up calendar I was in. We met some friends and drank some wine and looked at photos of scantily clad women. You know, wholesome American fun. We ended up meeting a few friends of mine at a nearby place for drinks, but by the time they wanted to seat us for food it was after 11 and I just wanted to go home. Which we did.
Saturday was a day of much sloth. I made brunch at my place for the Dr., J and my man. We went bowling at Lanes & Games, which included many beers. And a game of lefty-candlepin bowling. And my man won every game, so you know, he sucks. The we came home and the Dr. went to visit some local relatives while the man and I ate some veggies and watched John Adams (awesome series, peeps!). Sunday I did a lot of movie watching with the Dr. We visited my friend A at her store and bought vitamins. Then I made us some vegetable soup because everyone likes the soup in the cold weather. I saw The Darjeeling Limited for the first time. I liked it. I’m not sure I need to own it (there’s an icky moment with Jason Schwartzman on the train and just YUK), but something wonderful and amazing that always strikes me about Wes Anderson movies is that he must be SO VERY MUCH a perfectionist. Or possibly OCD. Every single teeny tiny detail is so beautifully executed that you can be looking anywhere at anytime and get a different, but equally robust movie experience. What I mean is that I spent much of the time not looking at the ennui/sadness/melancholy of the very expressive faces of Schwartzman, Brody and Wilson, but looking at the super-saturated colors of the background, and I still was engaged at every moment. The wallpaper told me its own story. How often does THAT happen? And, I find it to be the same in The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore. Wow.
Where was I? Oh! For dinner last night (Sunday), we went out for Ethiopian food. I love the connection with the food that you get from eating with your hands, and off of a big plate on a small table along with your neighbors. The process is every bit as important as the taste of the food, and the taste was superb. Saucy chicken, tender lamb, spiced vegetables. Mmm. I could have done without the honey wine, though. It was far too sweet for me to enjoy with the food. I think a crisp, cold Trimbach or Pino Grigio would have been a better choice. Oh well, next time.
Anyway, this morning I bade a sleepy Dr. farewell. Tonight I look forward to a short rehearsal, some leftover soup, and watching the latest Harry Potter that just came in the mail.
Weeeeeeee!
Last Tuesday (if I may just back it up a bit), I picked up Dr. Monkey at the airport. Late. Snow in Minneapolis had caused a two hour + delay and his flight didn’t land at Logan until after 1am. We wearily made it to my apartment, where I deposited him, then I sneaked into my boyfriend’s house and curled up with him. The next morning brought the WORST weather ever. This isn’t usually a big deal as I have a Jeep and even the Barbie-Jeep can get around fine in crappy weather. I, however, had promised to lend my car to the good Dr. so that he could visit Rhode Island and old friends until Friday. The walks to the T from my place and then to work from the T were bad. Cold, slushy, and harrowing (so much slush and ice!).
Ugh. The Dr.’s visit was greatly improved when he returned Friday morning. We went into Bahston to run some very expensive errands, including a trip to Shreve, Crump & Lowe for his mom, a trip to Tiffany’s for me (purchased with my own money, I’ll have NO sugar-daddies…), and a trip to Neiman Marcus for him that was… Well, it was just WHOA. It yielded the softest Burberry scarf in existence. After we’d shopped ourselves silly, we went to the top of the hub for drinks and lunch. He had the ultimate martini (with TOMOLIVES, which are amazing olived-mini-tomatoes) and the salmon, and I had fruity chick drinks and the duck. Yum! We were rather tipsy by the time we departed, which was after 2:30. The wind almost knocked us down on many occasions, but the walk home under the influence of expensive cocktails and cashmere was much more pleasant.
Friday night we went to a little gallery in Inman Square to see the outcome of the pin-up calendar I was in. We met some friends and drank some wine and looked at photos of scantily clad women. You know, wholesome American fun. We ended up meeting a few friends of mine at a nearby place for drinks, but by the time they wanted to seat us for food it was after 11 and I just wanted to go home. Which we did.
Saturday was a day of much sloth. I made brunch at my place for the Dr., J and my man. We went bowling at Lanes & Games, which included many beers. And a game of lefty-candlepin bowling. And my man won every game, so you know, he sucks. The we came home and the Dr. went to visit some local relatives while the man and I ate some veggies and watched John Adams (awesome series, peeps!). Sunday I did a lot of movie watching with the Dr. We visited my friend A at her store and bought vitamins. Then I made us some vegetable soup because everyone likes the soup in the cold weather. I saw The Darjeeling Limited for the first time. I liked it. I’m not sure I need to own it (there’s an icky moment with Jason Schwartzman on the train and just YUK), but something wonderful and amazing that always strikes me about Wes Anderson movies is that he must be SO VERY MUCH a perfectionist. Or possibly OCD. Every single teeny tiny detail is so beautifully executed that you can be looking anywhere at anytime and get a different, but equally robust movie experience. What I mean is that I spent much of the time not looking at the ennui/sadness/melancholy of the very expressive faces of Schwartzman, Brody and Wilson, but looking at the super-saturated colors of the background, and I still was engaged at every moment. The wallpaper told me its own story. How often does THAT happen? And, I find it to be the same in The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore. Wow.
Where was I? Oh! For dinner last night (Sunday), we went out for Ethiopian food. I love the connection with the food that you get from eating with your hands, and off of a big plate on a small table along with your neighbors. The process is every bit as important as the taste of the food, and the taste was superb. Saucy chicken, tender lamb, spiced vegetables. Mmm. I could have done without the honey wine, though. It was far too sweet for me to enjoy with the food. I think a crisp, cold Trimbach or Pino Grigio would have been a better choice. Oh well, next time.
Anyway, this morning I bade a sleepy Dr. farewell. Tonight I look forward to a short rehearsal, some leftover soup, and watching the latest Harry Potter that just came in the mail.
Weeeeeeee!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tumbleweed
Someone on my street must have cut the dead-heads off their hydrangea today; their dry, crackly blooms were rolling down my block like tumbleweed.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Duh: A play in three lines.
Scene: Interior. My office. 4:43pm. Invoices and unplaced orders cover the desk. A banana on the shelf isn't getting any fresher.
Me: Don't forget your scarf when you leave!
Also Me: You're wearing your scarf! Moron!
Me: Shut up. You're an asshole.
Fin.
Me: Don't forget your scarf when you leave!
Also Me: You're wearing your scarf! Moron!
Me: Shut up. You're an asshole.
Fin.
Office no-no
Me: Hey, K. Are you working on those TPS Reports(or whatever) for our auditors?
K (my office-mate): Nooooo. I was just trying to find a video clip of the Facts of Life episode where Tootie and Natalie buy some bongs and give one to Mrs. Garrett.
Me: Ah, well that IS important.
K: Ha! Here it is!!
We watch…
And giggle as Mrs. Garrett gets PISSED…
Auditor lady: *clears throat* Um… the TPS Reports?
Tootie (perfectly timed*): There’s gonna be troubbbblllllle.
Natalie (*also): Make that a doubbbbbbbbllllle.
K (my office-mate): Nooooo. I was just trying to find a video clip of the Facts of Life episode where Tootie and Natalie buy some bongs and give one to Mrs. Garrett.
Me: Ah, well that IS important.
K: Ha! Here it is!!
We watch…
And giggle as Mrs. Garrett gets PISSED…
Auditor lady: *clears throat* Um… the TPS Reports?
Tootie (perfectly timed*): There’s gonna be troubbbblllllle.
Natalie (*also): Make that a doubbbbbbbbllllle.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Fuckity
I posed for a pin-up calendar earlier this year. I'm not ashamed of this; I look pretty good. But now it's on a Boston guys' gift guide list and because I'm January, I'm the picture (someone on FB messaged me to show me the "thrillist" automatic email with the link). I SINCERELY hope that no one I work with is on this email list. I think it's likely that SOMEONE is, though.
I've decided that my response (if approached by anyone) is to indicate that I think it is pretty awesome. Nothing to hide, and all that...
Thoughts?
I've decided that my response (if approached by anyone) is to indicate that I think it is pretty awesome. Nothing to hide, and all that...
Thoughts?
SuperBad...
It's only 8:21am. I've been up for exactly 2 hours and I feel like today has already head-butted me in the nose, knocked me on my ass, and is stepping on my throat.
:(
:(
Monday, December 7, 2009
Weekend of good stuff – a recap
Monday. Grr. Do you sometimes wonder on Monday morning if you can make the magic of a good weekend last a little longer if you just *pretend* that it isn’t Monday already. I’m trying that now. It’s tough to do in the office…
Friday night! I had a massage. I had a 6:30 appointment (that was already rescheduled from Monday), but when I got to the woman’s house, she looked at me like I had three heads. I was all: “Um, I have an appointment for…now?” and she was all: “Oh, REALLY?” But it all worked out. She swiftly prepared the room and got down to business. I’m doing well, body-wise. I don’t have a ton of issues, and it’s probably helpful that I’m very flexible (or as she put it, I seem “loosely put together”). I do have some killer tightness in my right shoulder blade area, which she worked like a bad-cop. We also had an interesting conversation about upbringing. I explained that I had a particularly healthy/wholesome upbringing with good, responsible parents on a farm (for crying out loud). I said I always felt safe and cared for (all true). She said that she’d done a lot of studying of people who’d worked with different cultures and they’d found that children who grow up in stable environments frequently have better body-coping and less stress in their bodies. Children who grow up with less care and safety and more chaos learn early to keep their bodies rigid and just keep using that as a coping mechanism. I‘m not sure if the idea hold water, and I know that correlation is not causation, but I thought it was an interesting idea nonetheless. After the massage, I! did! nothing! It was nice.
Saturday, I puttered around the apartment and got ready for the Boston Ballet’s The Nutcracker, to which I wore my most tutu-like skirt :). I got to the opera house a few minutes before J, so I sipped my latté and looked on as a million adorable little girls sprinted in with their parents following close behind. There were so many bows, and velvet dresses with faux-fur cuffs, and sparkle nail polish… When J arrived with her mother and niece we had time to get to our seats and take a few (covert) pictures before the show started. These dancers were incredible. Their bodies were so muscular it was not to be believed. They demonstrated such control over every move; they were like machines. You know what it reminded me of? Really good special effects in movies – where you KNOW that it’s not real, but it looks so real. Only this was REAL. GAH!
After the ballet ended (rather abruptly, I thought, in the middle of Claire’s dream…) we puttered about and ended up at the Union Oyster House – the oldest restaurant in the country. It was good to get inside because the icky weather was turning increasingly cold and gross. We had yummy seafood and dessert and coffee. We then walked in the snowing snowy snow to North Station to drop off J’s mom and niece. There was hot chocolate. It was molten. J and I took the T back to my place, twirled around in my living room like drunks, debated the likelihood of padding in the male dancers’ junk-region, ran a quick errand in Arlington, and made our way over to the Paradise rock club to see our friends in the Ryan Montbleau Band. The road was snowy and bad and did I mention snowy? Also, people in MA don’t know how to drive in the snow, so they were doing it wrong. We made it unscathed, though we did have to trek through several blocks of slush, and it was hella-windy, which made my umbrella nigh on unusable, but I persisted, so most of the time I walked with it inverted, as the wind kept blowing it into the shape of a bowl. It still caught some snow, and J and I had a good laugh, as did passers-by.
This post is getting long, but if you’re still with me*, XOXO, because there’s still more. We dropped our stuff backstage in the band’s room and swiped a beer, then we made some rounds. Caravan of Thieves was the opener and DANG were they fun. It was a gypsy jam and they all looked the part and the singer reminded me of John Leguizamo in Moulin Rouge, only normal size, and I got to talk to the (upright!) bass-player (Brian) after the show about them and theatrics and theatre and stuff and he was lovely and charming and J bought me a cd. Because she is generous. And also pretty.
Then RMB was playing and everything was happiness and light (and grey suits – they wore grey suits). There were many many people there that I knew and were shook it and listened and talked and hugged. I was responsible, as I was driving, and I didn’t get home until 2:30, and I got to sleep in (apart from many cat-related interruptions).
Sunday I did as close to nothing as possible (for me). I did some cleaning in the bathroom and kitchen, and made turkey soup, and watched LOTR: Return of the King (because I hadn’t watched it on Thanksgiving 1B and I was owed it!). Then in the evening, my wonderful man returned (Return of the Man!) and we had dinner and watched an indie British film (Boy A**) and part of No Country for Old Men and went to sleep after much cuddling and Eskimo-like face rubbing (because he’d shaved, and freshly-shorn dudes' faces are so SO so wonderful, but especially his).
Seriously, I have more thoughts rolling around in my head but I will save them because you probably need a nap after this.
*If you’re not with me, good day to you. I said GOOD DAY!
**This movie is good, but also depressing, and kind of left unresolved. But still good.
Friday night! I had a massage. I had a 6:30 appointment (that was already rescheduled from Monday), but when I got to the woman’s house, she looked at me like I had three heads. I was all: “Um, I have an appointment for…now?” and she was all: “Oh, REALLY?” But it all worked out. She swiftly prepared the room and got down to business. I’m doing well, body-wise. I don’t have a ton of issues, and it’s probably helpful that I’m very flexible (or as she put it, I seem “loosely put together”). I do have some killer tightness in my right shoulder blade area, which she worked like a bad-cop. We also had an interesting conversation about upbringing. I explained that I had a particularly healthy/wholesome upbringing with good, responsible parents on a farm (for crying out loud). I said I always felt safe and cared for (all true). She said that she’d done a lot of studying of people who’d worked with different cultures and they’d found that children who grow up in stable environments frequently have better body-coping and less stress in their bodies. Children who grow up with less care and safety and more chaos learn early to keep their bodies rigid and just keep using that as a coping mechanism. I‘m not sure if the idea hold water, and I know that correlation is not causation, but I thought it was an interesting idea nonetheless. After the massage, I! did! nothing! It was nice.
Saturday, I puttered around the apartment and got ready for the Boston Ballet’s The Nutcracker, to which I wore my most tutu-like skirt :). I got to the opera house a few minutes before J, so I sipped my latté and looked on as a million adorable little girls sprinted in with their parents following close behind. There were so many bows, and velvet dresses with faux-fur cuffs, and sparkle nail polish… When J arrived with her mother and niece we had time to get to our seats and take a few (covert) pictures before the show started. These dancers were incredible. Their bodies were so muscular it was not to be believed. They demonstrated such control over every move; they were like machines. You know what it reminded me of? Really good special effects in movies – where you KNOW that it’s not real, but it looks so real. Only this was REAL. GAH!
After the ballet ended (rather abruptly, I thought, in the middle of Claire’s dream…) we puttered about and ended up at the Union Oyster House – the oldest restaurant in the country. It was good to get inside because the icky weather was turning increasingly cold and gross. We had yummy seafood and dessert and coffee. We then walked in the snowing snowy snow to North Station to drop off J’s mom and niece. There was hot chocolate. It was molten. J and I took the T back to my place, twirled around in my living room like drunks, debated the likelihood of padding in the male dancers’ junk-region, ran a quick errand in Arlington, and made our way over to the Paradise rock club to see our friends in the Ryan Montbleau Band. The road was snowy and bad and did I mention snowy? Also, people in MA don’t know how to drive in the snow, so they were doing it wrong. We made it unscathed, though we did have to trek through several blocks of slush, and it was hella-windy, which made my umbrella nigh on unusable, but I persisted, so most of the time I walked with it inverted, as the wind kept blowing it into the shape of a bowl. It still caught some snow, and J and I had a good laugh, as did passers-by.
This post is getting long, but if you’re still with me*, XOXO, because there’s still more. We dropped our stuff backstage in the band’s room and swiped a beer, then we made some rounds. Caravan of Thieves was the opener and DANG were they fun. It was a gypsy jam and they all looked the part and the singer reminded me of John Leguizamo in Moulin Rouge, only normal size, and I got to talk to the (upright!) bass-player (Brian) after the show about them and theatrics and theatre and stuff and he was lovely and charming and J bought me a cd. Because she is generous. And also pretty.
Then RMB was playing and everything was happiness and light (and grey suits – they wore grey suits). There were many many people there that I knew and were shook it and listened and talked and hugged. I was responsible, as I was driving, and I didn’t get home until 2:30, and I got to sleep in (apart from many cat-related interruptions).
Sunday I did as close to nothing as possible (for me). I did some cleaning in the bathroom and kitchen, and made turkey soup, and watched LOTR: Return of the King (because I hadn’t watched it on Thanksgiving 1B and I was owed it!). Then in the evening, my wonderful man returned (Return of the Man!) and we had dinner and watched an indie British film (Boy A**) and part of No Country for Old Men and went to sleep after much cuddling and Eskimo-like face rubbing (because he’d shaved, and freshly-shorn dudes' faces are so SO so wonderful, but especially his).
Seriously, I have more thoughts rolling around in my head but I will save them because you probably need a nap after this.
*If you’re not with me, good day to you. I said GOOD DAY!
**This movie is good, but also depressing, and kind of left unresolved. But still good.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Personal preference
Any homemade vinaigrette must include mustard. Either the grainy German kind, or mustard that includes wasabi (oh hell yes). Dayglo "yellow" mustard isn't really mustard...
I. Don't. Learn.
Thing twelve-million-and-two that I said to my boyfriend while drunk (seriously, you'd THINK I'd just lay off the booze already, but NO!*):
"When we have babies you shouldn't be in the delivery room to see my mangled girl-parts. J will be there. You can wait outside. That way you'll want to have sex with me again one day.**"
Seriously, a trained Monkey has more tact.
*I did have a reason for drinking, as the cast list for Dracula was posted yesterday***, and M is away for the WHOLE weekend, and Proseco is quite delicious.
**Dear people with babies whose husbands saw their mangled girl-parts during delivery: That's cool for you - it's just not for me. We also don't pee in front of each other and he is under the impression that I just don't sweat. That's how we roll...
***I'm in. One of the Brides of Dracula. I wanted a lead, but dude I have been a lead like two and a half times this year, with this group. No complaints. PLUS! I get to have fangs and hiss menacingly. Good enough for moi.
"When we have babies you shouldn't be in the delivery room to see my mangled girl-parts. J will be there. You can wait outside. That way you'll want to have sex with me again one day.**"
Seriously, a trained Monkey has more tact.
*I did have a reason for drinking, as the cast list for Dracula was posted yesterday***, and M is away for the WHOLE weekend, and Proseco is quite delicious.
**Dear people with babies whose husbands saw their mangled girl-parts during delivery: That's cool for you - it's just not for me. We also don't pee in front of each other and he is under the impression that I just don't sweat. That's how we roll...
***I'm in. One of the Brides of Dracula. I wanted a lead, but dude I have been a lead like two and a half times this year, with this group. No complaints. PLUS! I get to have fangs and hiss menacingly. Good enough for moi.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both... and there you have: a post with a lot of colons.
No, this post will not be about Blair, Jo, Natalie, Tootie, or Mrs. Garrett. Or Poughkeepsie. I'm sorry to disappoint you.
The BAD:
My wonderful man will be away from Friday afternoon to Sunday night. Sad. But! He'll be having fun and he deserves fun, so, good for him, I guess. (I can't believe he would have fun without me! No, he probably won't... Right?)
The GOOD:
Things I am doing this weekend, starting with Thursday because I am a fucking rock star and the regular weekend does not contain enough time for me to party:
Thursday : Scorpion bowls and fried seafood at The Summer Shack to say "bye" to the man. Romance, yeah!
Friday: Work (boo!), but then after work FREE MASSAGE. By a professional massage-giver, even! You are jealous!
Saturday: Boston Ballet Nutcracker with J and family. Then dinner in Boston. Then Ryan (fucking) Montbleau Band at the Paradise for dancing and more dancing!
Sunday: Friendsgiving dinner at friends house where there will be lots of friends and foods.
Holy hell that's a lot of stuff.
Also, GOOD worth mentioning: Aunt Flo came today to tell me that I am NOT pregnant! I know! You didn't even know that I was worried about it because I am totally crafty like that and I don't tell you absolutely EVERYTHING people because then how would we keep the romance alive? HOW?
Anyway. It's only Tuesday. Tonight I'm going to audition for Dracula. Oh hell yes, DRACULA! With the fangs and the blood and the undying love. That's entertainment, baby.
The BAD:
My wonderful man will be away from Friday afternoon to Sunday night. Sad. But! He'll be having fun and he deserves fun, so, good for him, I guess. (I can't believe he would have fun without me! No, he probably won't... Right?)
The GOOD:
Things I am doing this weekend, starting with Thursday because I am a fucking rock star and the regular weekend does not contain enough time for me to party:
Thursday : Scorpion bowls and fried seafood at The Summer Shack to say "bye" to the man. Romance, yeah!
Friday: Work (boo!), but then after work FREE MASSAGE. By a professional massage-giver, even! You are jealous!
Saturday: Boston Ballet Nutcracker with J and family. Then dinner in Boston. Then Ryan (fucking) Montbleau Band at the Paradise for dancing and more dancing!
Sunday: Friendsgiving dinner at friends house where there will be lots of friends and foods.
Holy hell that's a lot of stuff.
Also, GOOD worth mentioning: Aunt Flo came today to tell me that I am NOT pregnant! I know! You didn't even know that I was worried about it because I am totally crafty like that and I don't tell you absolutely EVERYTHING people because then how would we keep the romance alive? HOW?
Anyway. It's only Tuesday. Tonight I'm going to audition for Dracula. Oh hell yes, DRACULA! With the fangs and the blood and the undying love. That's entertainment, baby.
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